I dont usually vent my personal stuff on here but I feel like this may be the only way certain people might hear me. I dont understand how a parent can know they have a child out there and never care to know anything about them. Its been almost 33 years and he has never wanted to know a thing about me. The opportunity has been there many times. I have called and talked to him, written letters, showed up at his house, and even met his brother (my uncle and his family) almost 15 years ago and had a close relationship with them for a year and never even got to see a pic of my father. I guess I just dont get it. Even they stopped contacting me a year after meeting me. As a parent, I cant imagine not knowing my own children. I often wonder if out of sight, out of mind applies here. Maybe they dont think about me. They never knew me after all. It hasnt been like that for me though. I think about them almost everyday. So many things remind me of the half of my own blood that I have never known. I have a brother out there that didnt even know I exsisted until I made a phone call and he answered the phone. I know its not my fault. I havent done anything wrong. I try to not think about it. I was adopted by my dad when I was 21....a man that actually wants to be my dad. I thought that it would make me think and care less of the relatives I dont know, and maybe fill the constant void in my life. It helped, and I have someone to call dad now, but its not the same. I would love to have at least a face to my biological fathers name. I dont know what happened with my aunt and uncle. They just disappeared as fast as they appeared. The last time I saw them was when I was 17. I thought we had a good relationship, so I dont understand why they dont care any more. It really hurts. Its a pain and a void that nothing can make go away. I think about it multiple times everyday. I dont expect others to understand. I keep hoping that one day he or my aunt and uncle may come around. I am not a bad person and dont feel like I was ever given a chance. I still have a lot of life left. I have children of my own that i would never abandon. I hope the right person reads this and contacts me. I am not hateful. I dont hold a grudge. I just want to have some kind of contact from someone from the other side of my family.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 07:10:53 +0000
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