I dont vent on facebook for attention or for people to give me sympathy. I vent because I speak the truth. I get a lot of backlash for things that are said, but never asked of me or my family. It seems over the last 18 years, a lot has gone on that some were not aware of, because I have kept my mouth shut, for my oldest sons sake. But after 18 years and some events that have taken place this Christmas, this momma will NOT sit back and let them go on any more. Decisions were made when Caleb was 2, not by me, but my the state of Florida and his biological father. I did remarry when Caleb was 5 and when asked what he wanted for his birthday that following year, his reply? to have the same last name as my FAMILY. So for his 6th birthday, Caleb went before Judge Nichols, was questioned extensively and Dunnie officially and legally adopted Caleb. (because of prior court proceedings that terminated parental rights, the biological father did not have to consent at that time - anyone wants to question any of those statements, its all public record, or I have copies and you are more than welcome to read them). Dunnie and I blended families when we married and while life was and still is not perfect, the kids were always bonded as brothers and sisters - there was never a question about any of that with them or with us. Although I am sure at times, one or two or all 3 of them felt as though they were treated unfairly or one of the others got something better (but what siblings dont?). I have never denied Calebs biological family the right to see him or talk to him, not any of them. I have even encouraged contact by him, when he had not seen or heard from them in a significant amount of time. There have been many moments in the last 5-7 years that really pushed me to my limits and I kept my mouth closed, for Calebs sake. But this year at Christmas, this momma had experienced enough and I began to speak up. I have talked with Caleb extensively and never hid anything from him. We have talked about his biological father getting married for the 3rd or 4th time (we arent sure), when Caleb was not told or invited to the beach wedding, but learned of the marriage through a mutual friend. We have talked about his biological father adding another child to the mix, of which Caleb was not informed, not talked to about the pregnancy, and again had to learn of that through a different family member. At one point, there were family pictures - but Caleb was not invited (and I didnt say a word) and the pics went on facebook as a profile pic, at the same time the biological dad was in court proceedings for another child, but trying to claim Caleb. There was a cousins wedding, to which they forgot to tell and invite Caleb, but Caleb heard at the last minute, asked to go and was taken by someone else. Another time the biological father was involved in a terrible work accident, but no one called to let Caleb know. We woke up for school that morning to read posts all over FB, prayers for this family, pray that everything will be ok, etc. and watched the news to hear suspect killed and deputy shot. Nothing like having to tell your son that we have to call around and find out what is going on, of which we fully supported Caleb through the whole event until a resolution was found. So many times over the years Caleb has been a convenience the biological family, and sadly so. Caleb graduates this year and for me that is a proud moment, documented with senior pictures. I have reached out to the biological father to ask if he would like to pick out a few for keepsakes, but he is always too busy to stop by and look or he simply forgets. When Caleb turned 16, Dunnie gladly sold his truck so that we could turn around and buy 2 older, simpler trucks, 1 for Caleb and 1 for Dunnie. We lovingly provided a vehicle and insurance for Caleb, without question. This year marks 2 years with that truck and Caleb wanted some new tires, so being the mean mom that I am, told him that we would help him, he would have to provide some of his work money towards it, but with my parents and us - he would get a set of mud tires. However, due to the excessive cost of what Caleb wanted, he did reach out to his biological father, who informed him that he could not help at Christmas, he just didnt have the money, but because I posted something about that, I am getting backlash. I spent 3 years as a single mother, with NO child support, no financial assistance, and NO state hand-outs. I made it on my own to provide for my son. Many new school years have started, 13 of them to be precise, with not so much as a pack of paper or a pair or shoes. Many Christmass and Birthdays have come and gone, many with nothing, not even a Birthday Card from the Dollar Tree. If any of you want to questions what I am saying, ask Caleb, he can tell you exactly what I am saying and verify it. And let me say it again, before you say well, she gets child support... NOPE, I got $21/week for the first 13 months of Calebs life. With all that being said and aired out in public (please dont threaten me again with slander, because all of this is stated truth, backed by court documents) I WOULD NEVER change any of it for the WORLD. I love my son with every ounce of my soul and WOULD FIGHT to the death for him, without question. BUT one thing I would change, when those parental termination papers were signed by the judge 16 years ago, I SHOULD have cut off all contact and saved my son the heartache that he has experienced. Thankfully, he takes all this in as a lesson on how not to treat people or your children. And thankfully has a dad and father in Dunnie that has stepped in and stepped up to the plate (and although nothing is perfect) I could not have asked for a better role model than my amazing husband. Finally, I will leave this up long enough for all of you tattle tales to go back and snap shot and text this to those involved.. then I will begin cleaning house in the am and you will have no access to Calebs life happenings anymore. PERIOD. #rantover. No I dont feel better, I should not be having to explain myself, but I am not sitting back to any more threats or insults of my immaturity from anyone, anymore. #yougrowup. Ive more than proven myself.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 02:40:51 +0000