I don’t think posting every day is necessary or even realistic at this point. That in and of itself is pretty exciting. The health drama is more or less over. I have been having severe shooting pains in my breasts. Today I called Dr. B’s nurse to discuss it. She said something about the muscles rejuvenating or rebuilding or something like that. The bottom line is that it is a very good thing. As for the pain, I need to take Advil, and that should work. I’m at Starbucks right now, but will try that when I get home. I suppose it is a small price to pay for the rocking boobs I am getting. I am getting a better view of the finished product each day and I’m pretty excited. OK, let’s get the health stuff out of the way. As of today, I have my foot surgery scheduled for December 23rd. It is a Tuesday…my friend Judy said I could stay with her afterwards. My plan is to stay with her for 6 days and then go home. More about that later another time. OK…now for “the rest of the story”. I got up at 5 this morning and in all honesty told myself that I would walk after work. I remembered how great it felt after the walk and pushed myself to do it this morning. It was just as wonderful as it was Monday…actually even better. The reason being I remembered that just a few short months ago it took all my energy just to walk a few steps to the mailbox. I am going to measure it tonight, but I walked the subdivision 3 times. Whatever it is is more than I was doing last week at this time. I am definitely going to keep walking and increase the time I do it. I even told a friend this morning that I can set up a walking date. It hurts, but afterwards actually feels better. I realized this afternoon that I will have to delay my plan to try to start dating with my upcoming surgery. Even though I am a bit bummed, I figure I have that much longer to get a cute haircut and heal. In the end, it is going to be in Gd’s time not mine anyway. I have 3 friends that have all had first dates after a long period of not dating; I thought I would be next, but I guess not. I remember sharing over the last few months that I am not going to take the smallest things for granted anymore. I got to shave my underarms for the first time in 6 months this morning. As much as I enjoyed not having to shave, needing to means I am healing in a big way. This next thing is actually the biggest deal for me…I got to take a shower with the showerhead I used to use. That means I put away the shower bench and the hand shower thing that I’ve been using since February. I took a shower like a real person. I can’t begin to tell you how “normal” that small act made me feel. The last couple days have been emotional from a business standpoint. Lots of changes are getting ready to happen. I feel more confident after some meetings that things are going to be better than ever. I have a lot of work to do, but that doesn’t scare me. I was asked to share at an NA fundraiser November 1. It has been a long time since that has happened. I hope I can stay out of the way and share a message of recovery. I have to do something very uncomfortable but necessary tonight. I know it will be fine, but I see an old “less than desirable trait” surfacing, procrastination. Hopefully I will be close to Cherokee, NC 42 days from today. The next day I will go to Asheville and spend 4 days there. My friend Judy offered to teach me some art “tricks”. I have no idea what they are but I am very excited. Anything having to do with Judy is amazing. That is just the way it is. I have noticed I am doing things I wouldn’t before. It is hard to explain…calling people I wouldn’t have felt would want to talk to me; smiling at someone because I want to and not concerned what they will think of it; one big one is NOT worrying…what a concept. Here is a great example of that. My CPA filed an extension for me for 2013. I didn’t realize I needed to file by today. On Monday Mike and I were talking and I said I’d grab the file I had with everything in it and drop it off. I got off the phone and couldn’t find it. I don’t have a large home, so there weren’t that many places it could be. I simply couldn’t find it. I called Mike after calling the company that does our payroll to find out how to get a copy of my 2013 W-2. The only time I got emotional was when I realized the reason I couldn’t find the file…butterfly brain. Having to find everything again didn’t bother me. I called the pharmacies to ask how much I spent on meds, looked up tax records, etc. and we got everything together and he got it filed in time. There was a time not long ago that I would have gotten pretty upset about that. In the end it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but that wouldn’t have mattered. There are so many little things like that which have changed. In some ways it feels like ages since I was lying in bed unable to move. There are so many wonderful things to look forward to. I went to a consignment store today. I noticed the things that I looked at and even bought were different. I have a different sense of style with some things and I love how it all makes me feel. I love being ok with me just the way I am and exactly the way I look. If you knew how I used to be you would know that I am light years from where I was. That is not to say that I don’t have work to do on myself. Rather it is that I accept the package and what is in it as it is today right now. This has been a dream of mine my entire life. OK, that’s it boys and girls. I need to get home. Hugs!!!
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 23:39:59 +0000
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