I feel as if this day comes by to fast, each and every year is just flying by and Im yet again reminded of the worst day of my life. The day I got that dreaded call that changed my whole life. The details of that day always remains so fresh and just breaks me up all over again. There are no words or emotions I can express on how much I miss you and how I still have a hard time believing you are gone...Im always just waiting to hear that ringtone one of many times I would ignore because thats what most teenagers do, Im waiting for you to walk through that front door and tell me that you miss me even though I just saw you that morning and I waiting to here you yell Marlenkaaa cuz I know Im about to get in shit. Any moment good or bad I had with you I would give anything to just experience them all over again and yes even the embarrassing moment I thought you were putting me through all because thats how you showed me your unconditional love. I wish I could take back all the nos, cringes and mom stop moments and just embrace them because had I known wat I know now I would have never let go. Today was a day I just didnt wanna wake up to, which indeed I slept in pretty late, but then again thats something you loved and did often so I decided to live my day in your shoes doing wat I thought you would do today. Slept in, cleaned a bit, I was gonna go to church but lets be honest you didnt go that often either, took my time getting ready, sat and thought wat u would do next well its Xmas n my nails are not so pretty perfect time to go get get them all sparkled up for the holidays cuz we all know you didnt go with out them... Now red is not my color even at Xmas time but thats the last color you had so I went with it.... This scared me cuz I truly believe Im becoming more like u every day and yes I was fashionably late to. Put on a pair of heels and went to Olive Garden for dinner and of corse round up the night playing slots, didnt walk away with winnings but had fun hitting all the bonus spins and spending my winnings. Last but not least I hit the couch and put on some shows. I hope you had a great day following me around cuz I felt you each and every step of the way! On top of this day I had for you I also registered to give blood which couldnt happen today but will be on Dec 30th I read many stories of car accident victims and the amounts of blood that they loose/need and dont always have enough. I hope that if someones life can be saved by my donation then I may have just saved a young girls mother. That is the only gift I can truly keep giving for you as I always wish that would have been enough for you I love you and miss you always xoxo.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 07:54:31 +0000