I feel your pain, I know it as best as a human can know.... I have not experienced your specific path, nor am I in your shoes.... But I know what it feels to feel dead inside, to live in a hell that no-one sees but you, to walk by as a ghost... a shadow.... lost I know pain so bad, it squelches you soul, steals your voice, your peace, and robs you of any hope. Turning your dreams to nightmares that you dont even find sleep restful... To be in so much pain, that you turn to anything to numb it.... And as the cards stack higher, and the hurt drives your heart even lower, you feel completely dead, so why not just end it all, for what is the point of anything? I Have been to hells untold, I have suffered things unknown... I harbored burdens unfit to be carried... But I was never alone... my situation is not just me, Im not the only one to experience the pain of life, Im not the only one to suffer.... Im thankful for my pain, for it is out of such that I have found the treasure of compassion.... How could I ever relate to another in their pain, save for from the depths of my own hell? So I find the journey into the heart... into love... is one of facing our own hurts, traveling into our own hells, facing our own flames, enduring... persevering.... I believe the most beautiful people are those who have been scarred the deepest.... Those who have known the lowest of lows, and are still here to light the path for others... to extend an arm/shoulder/ear.... I still feel my past just as if it had happened, and Im surprised I have endured this far... But I am thankful, for seeing the reality of what we all suffer gives me deep insight into others, and grants me the capacity to hold the loving space to help others weather their dark nights of the soul.... Love is all about enduring suffering and pain.... As gold purified through the furnace 7 times, we are all being worked into beautiful creations. Diamonds formed in the coal... a phoenix from the ashes.... As I peel away another layer and die another death, I am reborn anew in love with a light to blaze the way for those who are lost. To offer hope and to help alleviate some of the pain... At the end of our lives, perhaps none of this will have mattered, and just as you said... maybe no-one will ever remember us.... But I believe at the end, we shall all reunite at One. I believe deep down, there is a thread that connects us all. Love is the only thing that mends, and sometimes we must come undone so that we can be built back up. Sometimes I feel like Im on the top of the world flying high and then things happen to rip my heart asunder and all my demons come forth screeching their torment and voicing my pain.... But each time I immerge with more understanding.... If I have learnt anything, it is this.... Life is temporary, our problems arent as big as we make them out to be, love is the only thing that is truly eternal, and one day, we shall all return to it. Whatever awaits beyond the gates of this life... who knows, but if I know anything about how love works... the best is yet to come! So rather than living in fear, Id rather face the darkness, and endure the fires.... Even if my knees shake, its best to face it. For perhaps we shall learn to finally see what lies within us all....! I speak of the nature of our Soul.... Whatever you wish to refer to it as, it matters not... words are just signposts pointing the way, beliefs are many... but we all describe the same thing.... And I know that deep down, each and every one of us is uniquely beautiful, with our own unique radiant hue to shine forth into the world! It is each other that paints the picture to be beautiful..... The poet in me can see through the apparent darkness and see through to our true selves.... And thus, suffering endured creates beauty, so I choose to hang on, and hope to paint the world anew in love..... I have not seen a more beautiful soul, nor looked or gazed upon a sight more beautiful, than the complete destitution of one in a deep darkness.... For it is in the darkness that the light shines the brightest.... For without the contrast, how should we see? And thus, the way I see it.... it is pain that teaches us to love.... And as we endure, we grow... That which was meant to destroy us.... rises us up anew! And death is not an ending, but a new begining into even more beauty! So my advice.... do not seek to end your sadness, be present with it, embrace it, allow it to have its way with you, for it is only there to benefit you in the end! We cannot make the unpleasant things go away, but if we learn to see that it is ultimately there for our good in the end, perhaps we can learn to perceive things in a new light, and suddenly, things dont seem as bad.... Im done running from my pain, and Im tired of hiding.... So Ive decided to be true to myself with wherever Im at.... I cant make things go away, but I can choose to be present with whatever Im experiencing, and this is the ticket to new growth, healing, and ultimately.... one that leads to inner-peace, wisdom, and love
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 02:03:20 +0000
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