I got home this evening and two of my kids were still up. So I made them some chocolate milk and gave them big hugs and sent them back to bed. Then it hit me, right in the stomach, just how terrible my mom was and what a great mom I am. Why do I consider myself to me a great mom Alhumdulilah (all praises are due to God). Because I am constantly moving past my own past to give my kids a better life. I am very transparent with them with my therapy, good days and bad days etc... They have a mom who had a terrible childhood and because of it suffers from mental illness (C-PTSD complex post traumatic stress disorder). But I work hard everyday to make sure my kids are safe, loved and happy. I wont deny I have made mistakes but I own up to them, apologize, something my mom could never do. My kids know that I love them, they are not belittled, humiliated or told I love one more than the other. My kids will never know what its like to have their mom sell them over and over for drug money. The day I kicked my mom out of my life was the most liberating moment I ever felt, and the reason I was finally able to stand up to her was because of my children. So even though I am still scared of the boogeymen including my mom that once haunted my sleep I am happy that my kids do not have any fear of the things that go bump in the night. I pray that God continues to protect them. Ameen
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 07:17:25 +0000
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