I got the rough draft of the prologue of my book done last night! I am thankful. Now, onto the chapter by chapter outline and breakdown! Im thankful for a bunch of other stuff too. Wanna read it? Here it goes! Heres to taking November back! Happy Thanksgiving! ============================== Thanks I have been dreading flipping the calendar to November. November is a hard month. My mom and my little brother died in November - two years and 10 days apart. November 9, 2008 and November 19, 2010. However, after a couple of days of moping around I decided that I was not going to give in to the sadness. I miss the people that my mom and brother could have been, but I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for - a whole lot! Therefore, in a month dedicated to giving thanks I am going to dedicate myself to do just that! I am thankful for my husband, Tony. I am thankful that he gets up before daylight and returns home after dark to allow me to stay home with Conley. I am thankful for how he looks getting out of his truck in a pair of Levis; for his sense of humor that ranges from completely goofy to completely raunchy; for his dedication to getting Cs pigtails just right; for embracing the term cute-cute; for his ability to fix ANYTHING; for the way his face absolutely lights up when Conley runs to give him a hug. I am thankful that he never complains about anything that I cook; that although his job is stressful, he never brings the stress home; that he is as big of a home body as I am; that we talk to each other as friends; that we are best friends; that his idea of a fun Friday night is watching Toy Story 3 in the bed with Conley and me; that we are dedicated to showing a united front with C; that he was so strong for me on those fateful November days; that he gently reminds me of all I have to be thankful for when I start feeling a little sorry for myself; that he is completely comfortable in his own skin; that he has loved me tirelessly, even when I did not deserve his love; and, that he is the most loyal person I know. I am most thankful that he has given me the most incredible gift in the world, our wonderful daughter, Conley Marie. I was six weeks pregnant with Conley when my mom died. I am thankful for that because it kept me from drinking entirely too much and saying or doing something that I would regret. Ive been known to do that. Simply, I am thankful for every hair, every pore, every molecule of her being. She has shown me not only the very essence of true love, but she has also shown me the person I was meant to be. I am thankful that she has taught me patience and shown me that kindness is not a weakness. I am thankful for her Loreal Kids cherry almond shampoo because when I snuggle up behind her it reminds me of a perfect spring day. I am thankful that she requests that I sing You Are My Sunshine every night although I am possibly the worlds worst singer. I am thankful that she has a bedroom stocked with toys, books, clothes and a big comfortable bed covered with stuffed animals; that she sticks her tongue out when she is concentrating; that she has a hybrid skip-gallop that is her favorite mode of transportation; that she has a strong will and an independent spirit; that she loves books and working with her dad in his shop. I am thankful that she is a good traveler, and that she has slept in her own bed since she was three months old. I am thankful that she makes me stop and smell the roses, and the pansies, and the mums, and the dandelions. I am thankful that she has a wild streak, but a kind soul. I am so very thankful that she makes everyday, even the anniversary of two of the worst days of my life, not only tolerable, but enjoyable. I am thankful for my gran; that she has always been a constant in my life; that she has been an unwavering source of love; that she has never given up on anyone. I am thankful that she took my sister, brother and me in, working 12 hour days at a shoe store, trying to provide us with some stability after our world had been shaken to its core. I am thankful that at 79 I still feel that she could work circles around me and anyone else my age; that she demanded manners and respect; that she was liberal before liberal was cool; that she taught me, even more so than Winston Churchill, to never, ever, ever give up. I am thankful that she is the definition of grit and determination. I am thankful for my mother-in-law, Mary; that she embraced me and showed me warmth, love and nurturing when I needed it most; that she filled a void that I desperately need filled; that she taught me that family is the most important thing in the world; that she sent lasagnas home with us in college, and made us Valentines Day presents and Easter baskets even when we were well past the age to get such things. I am thankful that she, even more so than Oprah, taught me that love is in the details; to save certain items because you will use them again. I am thankful that she taught me to cook, wrap presents, and decorate for the holidays. I am thankful for her friendship; for her little act of kindness. I am thankful that she leaves the coconut out of the icing on my favorite cake although she loves coconut. I am thankful for our Creepy Baby Pumpkin game; for our daily calls and texts; for her sense of humor. I am thankful that she convinced me that being a stay-at-home mom was worth every sacrifice. I am thankful that she has crawled into bed with me when I have been stricken with grief and with drinkers guilt, hugged me and promised me that everything was going to be fine. I am thankful for her boundless energy, and for her love of life. I am thankful that she is the most amazing nonni to our girl and our nieces. I am thankful that she is much more than a mother-in-law; that she is one of my best friends, my teacher, my guardian, my M. I am thankful for my father-in-law, Lenny; that he showed his son how to be a real man; that he taught him how to fix ANYTHING; that he endures a large amount of good natured grief from all of us, but there is absolutely no doubt that he would stop everything to help any of his children. I am thankful that he will work all day, drive four hours, and then get up the next day and help his son build a new porch, or run electricity to his shop, or put a new floor in Conleys playroom, or spread mulch in the rain. I am thankful for his Mick Jagger and Cowardly Lion impressions, and his kindness to his granddaughters and to animals. I am thankful for my sister-in-law and best friend, Lynn. I am thankful for her charm; for her love of red wine and good times. I am thankful that she, Tracie, and Rachel have accepted me and loved me as a sister since the very beginning; that she has literally been by my side on the best and worst days of my life; that she gives great hugs; that her outward beauty is only outdone by her inner beauty. I am thankful that she will stand up for what she believes in; that she is honest, trustworthy, and kind; that she loves deeply and argues furiously. I am thankful for her high tolerance of tedium; for her writing ability; for her passion for her beautiful daughters; and for her absolutely wonderful sense of humor. I am thankful for every laugh and tear that we have shared through the years, and that she just gets me and loves even the not-so-great parts of me. I am thankful for my little sister, Angie. I am thankful that through the tragedies we have endured together we have finally grown closer and are now good friends. I am thankful that she is my polar opposite and my identical twin at the same time. I am thankful that she has the most beautiful little boy in the world and is a fantastic mother to him. I am thankful for her large capacity of love and letting go; for her fiery and passionate temper. I am thankful that she, like my gran, has never given up on anyone. I am thankful for her infectious laugh; and, that she has taught me the art of forgiveness. I am thankful for my sister-in-laws, the other two members of the Posse, Tracie and Rachel. I am thankful for Tracies hard work and determination, her fearlessness, and her focus. I am thankful that she is freakishly strong, that she is fiercely loyal, that we are all a little bit scared of her, and that she now has what she has always wanted, a beautiful little girl. I am thankful for Rachels catch-you-off-guard sense of humor; her love of cleaning, and her ability to see peoples inward beauty. I am thankful for growing up in West Virginia. I am thankful for its courageous birth; for its wildness and its wonderfulness. I am thankful for its mountains and that they have always made me feel safe when I am nestled down in them. I am thankful that West Virginia is a scraper, an underdog, and because of that its people stick together and take care of each other. I am thankful for all of my platinum friends. These are friends that I have shared the laughing-until-you-cry moments and the crying-unti-you-laugh moments. We have carried each other out of bars, hospitals, and funeral homes. We have tucked each other in when a boy has broken our heart, we have not chosen sides when we broke each others hearts. I am thankful that although the mere fact of growing up has separated us physically that we still show up; that when I looked out into the funeral home when I was delivering my brothers eulogy there was a whole wall of all these wonderful women that lifted me up and gave me the strength to carry on. I am thankful that I come from a state where people still send casseroles, and pound cakes, and restaurant gift cards, and poinsettia, and fruit baskets for funerals and births. Heres looking at you: Erin Hays Stephens, Abby Martin, Katherine Thompson French, Angela Boyles Nash, Barbara Miller Gaither, Kathy Crews Disibbio, Kim Arrington Franklin, Meredith Moore Mazon, Bob and Heather Pensule, Phil Hall, Chris and Ashlee Walls, Lisa Kitterman, Priscilla Norris and Shannan Schaffer. Along the exact same lines, I am thankful for the wonderful, strong group of women that I grew up with and the wonderful, strong group of women that I married into. I am thankful to my great-aunts for always giving me a place to sleep; for driving me around; for slipping me a twenty; for slipping me a drink; and, for being the first to show me the importance of sitting up late into the night with your girls, laughing until you cant breathe. I am thankful for you: Aunt Bill, Aunt Pat, Aunt Doris, Aunt Lou, Aunt Libby, Aunt Chris, Aunt Joan, and Aunt Margaret. I am thankful for my husbands aunts and cousins. They are my counselors, my teachers, my confidants, my close friends, and some of my very favorite drinking buddies. I am thankful for you: Jo E. Marino Poluszek, Nikki Conley, Lori Mahan, and Tally Deal. I am thankful for my brother-in-law and homey, Jason. I am thankful for his mad dancing skills, his ability to make me laugh, his love of Tracie and Roselyn, and for being absolutely brilliant while always being the life of the party. I am thankful for my brother-in-law, Brent. I am thankful for his willingness to help, his trustworthiness, and his dedication to his family and community. I am extremely thankful that I got to know the women that started both of these families: Ida Conley and Rose Marino. Their love of family, books, and having dessert for dinner will live on with me forever. I am thankful that I knew my grandfather, Skomie Yokosuk. I am thankful that he insisted on good grades; that he took me on great vacations; that he played Old Maid with me; that he taught me what the spread was; that he made me listen to big band music; that he let me hang in his dingy bar and earn money by crushing the beer cans of his patrons; and, that we went to the WV State Fair every year. I am thankful for my high school guidance counselor, Carol Dodson, for nominating me for the William and Jean Swales Scholarship. It allowed me not only to go to WVU, but to do so without much financial worry. I am particularly thankful for this since she did so after her son and I had a messy high school break up. I am thankful for my high school English teacher, Doug Bourne. I learned more in his class than in any other. I am thankful that I have had three great jobs with three incredible bosses; that I gained an invaluable amount of knowledge working for Patrick Ford at WBCM, Joel Tesch at Business Wire, and Thomas S. Dennard at Grandbridge. I am also thankful because through these jobs I have made a fantastic and eclectic group of friends: Cedric Tillman, Jess Chambers, Katie Sherman, Tamryn Spruill, and Abby Martin. I am even thankful for the absolute worst job that I have ever have, yes, even worse than scraping trays in the Boreman cafeteria, because I made an incredible friend during that six months of hell on earth. You were all that got me through most of my Defease with Ease days, Liz Ryan Beals. I am thankful for my huge, comfortable bed; for the first drink of coffee in the morning, especially when Tony has made it; for our rose bushes; for cheese grits; for sitting on our deck with good friends, good food and good drinks; for cold, dark movie theaters; for the YMCA; for my 4Runner; for a home that rises up to us; for the Mountaineers, even when they are stinking up the joint; for red wine; for cold beer; for Eminem, Outkast, Jay Z, Kanye West, Wu-Tang, T.I., Childish Gambino, Nas, Common, and Biggie for powering me through runs and pulling me out of funks; for the 10 years of unconditional love from Bella; for having a fridge and pantry stocked full of food; for Tide detergent; for my Dyson. I am thankful that I have been to New York City; that I have stepped in the Pacific Ocean; that I have kissed my husband as we snorkled in Cozumel; that I have seen a perfectly smooth landscape of snow; that I have eaten steaks that you could cut with a butter knife and drank wine as smooth as velvet; that I have sipped mimosas in first class; ridden in a limo; and stayed in five star resorts. I am thankful that I have watched the fog lift off the Elk River and later swam in it wearing old tennis shoes; that I have slept in the floor with a bunch of my cousins; that I have eaten fried bologna sandwiches and been thankful for Ramen noodles; that I have drank pitchers of beer that cost a penny. I am thankful for all of us that believe that everyone should have the right to marry. I am thankful for President Obama and his fierce determination to make our country great again. I am thankful for Toni Morrison and David Sedaris. I am thankful for my stacks, rows, and shelves of books; for my Kindle. I am thankful for Rachel Maddow for informing me of the truth; for Lainey for informing me of the gossip; for Tina Fey, Amy Poeller, and Kristen Wigg for showing that funny and smart girls are totally hot; I am thankful for Law & Order Marathons; for TBS allowing me to get my geek on with Sheldon and Leonard. I am thankful for Steve Jobs: for my MacBook, my iPad, and my iPhone. I am thankful that our bar is now our playroom, and I am thankful that before it became our playroom we had some absolutely fantastic throw-down of parties; for little pajamas covered with monkey princesses; for knowing all the characters in Princess and the Frog, Beauty and the Beast, Toy Story, Rio, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I am thankful for the freedom of letting the jazz hands fly when Conley and I do our rousing rendition of Tomorrow. I am thankful for Dr. Barnes, Dr. Morrison, Dr. Morton, Dr. Dolittle, and all the incredible nurses and sweet volunteers whom all contributed in getting our girl into the world safely and soundly (and, kept me from having a stroke when my blood pressure went through the roof). I am also thankful for Steve and Starr, my mom and dad. Although they provided an incredible amount of heartache in my life, I am thankful that they brought me into the world, and through their struggles and failures taught me how to be a good parent and how to appreciate the beauty of my life. I am thankful that I somehow escaped the gene of addiction and have been able to appreciate all the goodness that surrounds me. I am thankful for my little brother, Zack. I miss him everyday. I am thankful for his kind heart, his good manners, his beautiful smile. I am sorry that he got the gene that I am so thankful that I didnt. It hurts my heart that it had been so long since we spoke, but I am thankful I found those letters that he wrote me when I was in college. So, there it is. I am sure that I have forgotten someone or something, and I apologize. However, after spending so many years being hard and building walls, I wanted to give a glimpse at the real me. The me that is so very thankful for the beautiful and precious life I have been given. Thank you.
Posted on: Wed, 27 Nov 2013 13:03:12 +0000
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