I gotta say, its been one thing after the other this year and I am still suffering but through it all I have had one stable thing aside from my sister Chandra Lynn Shorts-Holloway Misty Strongitharm, Shanay Lorraine Fox, Niqueman Humes, Ember Maxwell, Antonio Martinez, Bernice Lenci , Brittany Cateyes DeGeorge, Constance Gudel, Sharon Francis, Teresa Burnett, Robert Holloway, Wendy Destin And so many more that put their hearts out for me to hold onto even though I have been afk for so long and hardly had the will to talk to anyone because of all the pain. His name is Matthew Francis... I dont know what rock I was living under before him but I never want to go back, I never want to lose the smell of him. His touch. His eyes while they lock onto me. I have never blushed so hard in my life and all from the simple phrases he uses on me. Good morning love I love you Are you feeling any better? Let me in my tootes are freezing And so many more. Its like for all of 2014 and the back end of 2013 i was suffering. Sickness (and still fighting for my health) Theft ( and not pocket money, nearly 20 k that was my nest money for moving this year and Im getting none of it back.) Loss of loved ones, one who was like a sister to me and cut a hole in many a heart. Depression racked my body and my soul for so long to the point I wept in my own hands and held myself at night trying to push forward, telling my self as cliche as it sounds. the sun will come out tomorrow just hold on Schelsea you can do it. I held on. Dropped down so low my knees were covered in blood and my hands warn to the bone and then to dust. This man put up with my mood swings, as I lashed out he said all he saw was beaty. When I cried all he wanted to do was hold me, and tell me that the flowers will be in their greatest fashion the coming spring for all that leaves me is pureness. When I doubted myself and couldnt fight anymore he put me to sleep and woke me with kisses and warmth. He never blamed me, never left me alone. Always knew when something was wrong and if I couldnt be bothered with talking about it he put on a movie and would talk softly to me. Even across the ocean i never had a day when I felt utterly alone even though no one was physically there. This man worships me, loves me, desires me and respects me like none other I have come across. Takes the time out to understand what I say and what it means rather than flying off the handle because it sounds as if my dry tone is a cold remark rather than the joke its meant to be. Out off all the hell I have been though, all of 2014 my safe haven has been in his heart. Welcomed into his home for a magical getaway from life, given the tour of the world and offered more than he has dared offer any before and I know he has been hurt, who out of us hasnt had the carpet ripped from under our feet. No we dont agree on everything we never will but unlike another , he never told me or tried to make me change. To force his will on me to see it his way, he accepts me for who I am and lit up my dark little corner; not as a night light but as an everlasting supernova. What I am trying to say is... aside from my kin and close friends. My mother and father though gone separate ways. THANK YOU Matthew , thank you so much for loving me. No matter how low I sank I always loved myself but I cant even begin to tell how much it hurts and in the best way; to know that someone out there thinks I am good enough to love back, good enough to keep close for the rest of their earthly lives and wants to steal my shooting star when we pass on so that we can stay even in the after times. I am so thankful even with all this pain I have known and am in now, so thankful for the year 2014 because in it i found out that I truly and utterly love you. I wanna live, I wanna live so bad if only to grow closer to this amazing person and the others that surround me each and everyday. Its been tough , its been drastic but as much as I hated it, as much as I am sitting on the edge of my set waiting and hoping for 2015. I gotta say I wouldnt change 2014 for all the riches in the universe. I found love or rather love found me, and thats more than enough for a humble women like me. Happy new years everyone and in it I hope you find your star and if you already have it, hold onto it; love and never let it go because dreams dont walk into your life more than once and once you wake up they are but fleeting memories.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 01:49:04 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015