I grew up always wanting to know where my place was. I wanted to hang out with the popular or cool kids, but was immediately rejected. I always blamed my social incapabilities for it and beat myself down, because initially, I wanted to be respected by everyone, and I wanted to have their presence in my life as well. As time crept its way along, I focused more on the peoples lives that I could touch: the woman crying because she couldnt pull a couple more cents in for her groceries, that were already mostly covered by WIC checks; the old man sitting alone at Mc. Donalds, that Ive seen sitting there every morning by himself around the time I arrive, to cram down my egg mcmuffin without cheese; the girl crying at school, because she is rejected, like I was, by people who pompously believed they were in a social hierarchy. I then understood what my role was. I was those extra cents and a pat on the back to be strong and positive, I was the person who joined a widowed man alone at breakfast, who only needed a friend to talk about the latest buzz on a newspaper dated three days ago. I was the individual that noticed the person in the corner crying, and instead of ignoring her like everyone else did down the hallway, I came and joined her in tears. I am never ever going to be looked at as a popular or cool adolescent, I am too socially awkward for that anyways! I always left my walls too open, and had my heart dangling from my sleeve. And although I considered this a weakness growing up, it is actually the strongest attribute I have. I am not saying that I have a positive influence on everyones lives, because I know some people really hate me (personality differences, or poor mistakes Ive made in the past). Nevertheless, I do have open ears ready to adhere to information and emotion, a shoulder to soak up ample tears, and a heart large enough to accept monstrosities that are left of people. And to be honest, although these lives may be full of sadness, anger, and the worst of the emotional scale, I felt the happiest surrounded by them, like a candle in a dark room. And if I could just touch one persons life, the fire would spread profusely. I found myself to be a compassionate human, and anyones lives that I have touched I will always feel blessed, but because you have touched my life as well. Thank you everyone who has impacted my life so much and who has made it easier to impact others. Your presence is greatly appreciated and respected.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 03:24:14 +0000
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