I guess I understand why I have been in a sour mood. It is a horrible week this week that I have to live through. I mark the passage of time by the birthday of my youngest. Each year I think that I am over it and can move on, but then the depression and unexplainable anger and tears just set in and as the day approaches, I begin to understand with more clarity and sadness the reason for my mood change. To live so many years with half of your heart gone. To speak to your soul only in whispers in the night when your eyes are closed. To see your happiness and love only in the darkest moments of night when then entire world is asleep and your dreams allow you to be free to imagine a different life. Ten years ago my life was forever and horribly changed. My young family torn apart. A life taken while another struggled to grow. A darkness that settled into my life that has yet, if ever to fully leave. With every piece of joy experienced, it is forever tinged with that hint of sorrow...a bittersweet reckoning. Each year around this time I have to give it all back to God again just to make sure that I can make it through the rest of the year. With all that has been happening, you are so strongly missed. May your soul forever and eternally rest in peace.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 16:36:14 +0000
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