I guess it really is about perspective and acceptance. This morning was a little rough on my tummy. Still learning what to do and not do. Was able to get some work done and that felt good. The emotions were still kicking my butt. Remembering the bathroom set up for my Mom and mother in law when they were sick brought back memories and sadness that at 56 I’m in the same position. I spoke to the chemo clinic and they assured me the stuff I was going thru was not abnormal…the lack of energy, etc. I think sometimes I just need some reassurance since I live alone. There are people that are willing to come over. I just prefer working when I can and resting when I need to. It may feel lonely once in a while, but I can always pick up the phone. I better post my current thought before it flies away. Allison offered to take me to get my nails done tomorrow with her and her Mom during my lunch hour. I’m not eating much these days, and need a manicure, so that worked out great. It was suggested if I have plans the following day to shower the night before to save energy. Gd I hated that concept this morning. I ate a well rounded dinner tonight thanks to Trader Joes and Costco. After that I went to take my shower. Well, it was wonderful. I sat down on the bench and didn’t have to strain to get over the lip in the tub. Everything was waiting there thanks to Melissa, including my new hand shower head. I made the decision to enjoy the ease of showering and to even sing. Afterwards I was able to dry myself while sitting down…what an energy saver. I had enough energy left to work my my crafts project, something I haven’t done in a while. Diego laid by my feet and it was a perfect evening. I can be humbled or humiliated at any moment, depending on my perspective. Glad tonight I took the humble road. Having Diego with me (my neighbor’s Yorkie that she gratefully let’s me keep when I feel up to it) helps so much. He really is my therapy dog. I was able to call a couple people this evening and that felt good. Typically I save my energy for work during the day and by evening I am beat. Today I had enough for both. My new prayer will be to ask Gd to continue letting the worst of my side effects be spiritual, emotional and mental. I’ve been able to keep the other stuff at bay thanks to the amazing team at my chemo clinic and their patience letting me write down exactly what to do for what. I have my first blood work this Friday…that will let them know how I’m doing. I’m not comfortable driving right now since I get dizzy (or dizzier as the case may be) without warning. Gratefully Alan can take me. Ready for bed…it’s been a great day. My energy level was high for the most part. Did have to stop and rest a little after a conference call, but that’s ok. 16 days from this moment I will be 33 1/3% done with chemo…How cool is that? I have had lots of support from the two BC sites I’m on. Still staying away from everyone’s advice and experience. So far, I’ve been my biggest challenge. I did read about one lady that had the worst experience with a surgeon today. It made me even more grateful for my incredible medical team and their staff. OK gang. I’m done for tonight! Thanks for hanging in there with me! There are so many that don’t have the love and support that I do. It makes me appreciate each of you even more!!! Hugs!!!
Posted on: Tue, 08 Apr 2014 01:23:18 +0000
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