I had always said that I would not attend my Dads funeral because I couldnt bear the thought of letting go. On that dreadful day, I went, took my place and said good bye. So many times since then, I wished I had died. Just Let It Go Just let it go. What do they know of laying low for so long? Of hiding in shame for nothing done wrong? Of wondering how love can go so ...? ah! just let it go. Time has done nothing but given me all the details to go over and over in my mind recall all the facts so unfounded and so dumbfounded that came crashing down... as I fell like a clown. Not so funny when your world was surround by love and laughter. Not so much of that, after. Time has not been your friend It is time to let it go The speed of life is not slow as for the young, But it is fast like for the old. All time has given you is just old. As they lay you, in your final day, I will not pick out your clothes. Adjust your fingers nor place soft air kisses on your hard working hands nor pick out your rings... So many things They are not really necessary privileges, but privileges they were. I will not buy the flowers of purple in vases of gold set to stand beside you laced with ribbons and ribbons and ribbons and streaming with ribbons all of purple and gold. No heart shaped satin pillows delivered with signed with Love from me, your one and only daughter. I will not appear close to you not even near behind the tall towers of flowers but in bold I stay away. I am not scared of the people there. I am sick of all the hypocritical that are there just for the final show. I wont go. I must let it go. I know that you, are possessed by love as I am. It will for us never end. You were there when I came and I will be there when you go, just not close, far as from here is where I will be Daddy, if you should go. Then, only then, those that surround you, Then they will know, that they solely hold you and all the things I was told they no longer even water hold. No paper can say I love you nor that you love me.... only your voice and that I heard soooooooooo many times said to me. Its a bold gesture from here to say, I let it go. What is pure and in love, is my heart. There, they can not touch my feelings of love. Who wouldnt love such memories as we had? Looking up at you, as you cradled my head. Looking down at the crown of your head as I rode the pony with broken back. Oh Daddy! I want you back! Let them celebrate your life. We lived it and until they stepped in between we had our moment and it was the love of this father that taught me to love all others. yes, life and death sometimes is riddled in pain...but only because nothing is perfect in this time and land. The future holds the promise land and there Daddy is where I will hold you warm and inviting hand. written by Me, Ms. Mary. for my Dad.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 06:03:48 +0000
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