I hate big long status updates that are just “look at how amazing my life is”, but in a break with advertised programming, I’ve decided to do one. So I’m in a forest in the Arctic Circle about to go out on a snowmobile in a blizzard at ten o’clock at night. There are four other people, including our instructor, Pecker, who has shown us how to drive the snowmobile. As soon as we set off, the woman in front of me squeezes too hard on the throttle and shoots off, smashing straight into Pecker. They both go flying in the air, both snowmobiles flip over, theres lots of shouting and the woman is lying on the ground, not moving. Lots more shouting and running around later, an ambulance is on its way to take the woman to hospital (she’s fine), and to my surprise Pecker says he’s okay and we’re still going out for a ride. So we head out, and after about two miles we stop in the middle of a field by a ditch, where a stricken snowmobile is upside down in a river. Pecker announces that we have to retrieve the snowmobile from the river, or it will be buried by the blizzard, and produces a tow rope. This fails to yield any joy, so me and another man are sent into the river and instructed to roll the snowmobile out. Using brute idiocy, we manage to do this. Having rescued the snowmobile from the river we then ride at full pelt through a forest, still in a blizzard, in what is essentially a live-action version of that bit from The Snowman where they’re on a motorbike going through a wood and there’s animals popping out everywhere. Then we get back to snowmobile HQ, where we go into a tipi and eat reindeer black pudding and gravy and coffee with cheese in around a roaring fire, accompanied by two women in traditional Norwegian dress. It’s fair to say that this has been one of the strangest nights of my life.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Nov 2013 00:02:39 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015