I have a Prayer request and maybe some local people can help this man by paying him a visit. He is a regular member of a popular gun forum and he posted that he is dying and would like someone local to stop by for a shoulder to lean on. his name is Jeff and this is what he posted this morning. I am Dying No shit. Im laying here at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth Texas realizing my final days are upon me. It started back in April when I was diagnosed with stage IVLymphoma cancer. Couldnt just be normal Lymphoma, it had to be Burkitts lymphoma. And a rare one at that. Its whats called a triple hit Burkitts. Meaning there are three bad chromosones they have to fight. Basically its a fast growing tumor they throw everything at. We started with Chemo called Hyper/Cvad....one of the strongest doses of chemo they have. The tumor responded and went from 22cm to 8.4 cm then got pissed off and started growing again. They took me off Chemo and Sent me to MD Anderson in Houston to be on a clinical trial. I tried that and the tumor got bigger after a month so they kicked me off and sent me back. Now Im laying here with this huge belly, a bad prognosis, and hooked to what they call salvage chemo. It doesnt look good. Basically if this chemo does not shrink the tumor I am going to die. If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match. Ive gone from a 32 inch waist to almost a 44. I know what a pregnant woman feels now.......you cannot get comfortable no matter what position you lie in. My back is killing me, Im tired, exhausted, I cant eat without throwing iit back up and I have not pooped in three days because the tumor is wrapped around my intestines. Im only 45 years old and not ready to die. But here I lay wondering wtf happened and how did this happened. For the first time in my life Im actually afraid. 9 years in the Army I served. Im proud of that. I went to college and got a degree.........I have a beautiful family........I guess Ive had a good life., Ive shot more deer than most people have seen over the years.......hell I have killed lots of animals over the years. Shit loads of doves....... I cant even think about the number of bullets Ive fired over the years. It would be funny to see that mountain of brass. We would all smile and be proud and say damn Jeff, you have a trigger finger left? The mountain of brass would shade my two story house. I can be proud of that. I have an 8 year old son I have not taught much too. Ive been pretty sick all year. He has a chipmunk rifle ready to go......Dad just needs to get better......and there are days I can barely get off the couch Im so sick. Will somebody teach him when Im gone? I sure hope so.....hes a good kid and if hes got some of his Dad in him hes gonna be a damn good shot. Yes....these are the words of a truly dying man. I dont think Ill have any regrets.........Ive always wanted to work on a project car.....you know......rebuild an old classic. 65 mustang or 72 Chevy pickup... If I get better thats what I want to do. Chances are small and slim though and I think I finally realized that tonight. The nurses act different around me. They look sad.......they must have read my chart and seen my prognosis. Its in their eyes and faces. They wont look me in the eye......and Ive been coming here for months for treatment. Things feel different......they know. They just are not saying. I dont know whether to laugh or cry. Im scared..........I do know that. I guess if I had a shoulder to cry on right now I would. Well Ill just dump this here in GD and let the ball roll. Im in room 700 if you got a shoulder.7th floor Harris tower...
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 13:14:38 +0000
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