I have a horrible confession to make to you ... now, dont forget that I said I was human too ... so I can make mistakes, same as anyone can! And I actually have a whole dump truck full of excuses for ... I mean, its not like Im a drug addict, or a murderer ... Im just a little bit prejudice, and I know its terribly wrong ... but if you could see into my mind, youd understand why I am the way I am And I try my very best not to be ... but I am what I am and thats all that I am ... because, I Popeye The Sailor Man ... toot toot! Just kidding ... lightening the air a little before I slam you onto the pavement with my disgusting admission. Well, here goes ... you better sit down for this one ... ummmmmmm ... my least favorite animal in the animal kingdom is ..... a human being! There, I said it! I would have said a rattlesnake, but theyre reptiles ... so I had to look down deep in the barrel to find out that were the lowest on the totem pole of life ... although, most everyone is above Joan Rivers and Jay Leno ... Can we talk, sourpuss? Has anyone ever noticed that the older Joan gets, the more she looks like her alien ancestors? And, as for Jay Leno ... someone, please, tell that man to stop standing on his head ... that butt-hole he calls a mouth is stinking up all of Hollywood with an eerie green fog that is creeping through the Hollywood Cemetery as we speak. Speaking of cemeteries ... have you seen the new foreign film Mummy Dearests ... starring Joan Crawford, Joan Collins, and Joan Rivers, as triplets that chase their book writing daughters through every alley in Hollywood? I hear that one of the Joans actually does an on the spot strip tease, peeling off her mummy wrappings. in front of a group of horrified Japanese tourists! Tourist ... they are all over the place in Hawaii. I was on the bus the other day, and the driver pulled into a bus stop, picked up a fare, then honked at a white car parked in front of him. The bus driver honks politely, I mean, people have places to get to ... but the car just sits there. So the bus driver get out of the bus, walks over to the car, knocks on the passenger window, he can see that the driver and passenger are arguing about the map the driver was holding ... and he finds out that these tourists were looking for Koulau Ranch, less that four miles away. He tells them it is straight ahead, and they take off. Bus diver comes back, everyone has a laugh ... and were off again. One mile down the road, the white car is, once more, parked on the side of the road, and theyre back at it! So the bus driver stops the bus, opens the doors, and sees the driver pointing ahead ... the bus driver nods his head and the white car rushes off! You wont believe what happened next ... another mile ahead, with the Kualoa Ranch in site, we see the white car stopped again. Bus driver opens the doors ... car driver yells out ... Missy no wait for pee. Hey, the entire bus was laughing ... especially seeing this womans head popping up and down outside the passengers side of the car ... waving tissue at us! And people think the bus ride all the way to Hauula is boring! HA!
Posted on: Thu, 06 Feb 2014 04:54:04 +0000
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