I have a million thoughts and feelings going through me right now...... I feel like Im stuck in a time of Neverending fear darkness and uncertainty just once I wish that things would begin to improve with my situation of battling complete Evil! And there doesnt seem to be an end to it in sight and sometimes I feel like somebody else inside and like Im not even myself anymore . Im serious itd bad I dont even keep up with much of a life routine anymore . I often find myself just sleeping the days away just to avoid having to be awake Ive gotten to where I can sleep now but thats as far as it goes for me. I quit attending church because I feel like there is no help or release for me just disappointment and defeat I feel like Im tired of fighting to receive my victory because it feels so out of reach Im getting to the point where I hurt so much that I dont even believe Im Lost more lost than anyone should ever feel or be and Ive gotten to the point when I am awake I dont even interact with anyone or anything mostly just Facebook my music and TV unless my husband is in insistant upon receiving my attention and snapping me out of it but the most he gets from me is a ball of angry confusion and grief I dont even write anymore yep thats about it for me Im just existing Im not happy I miss my peace I miss having joy and most of all I miss the me that I used to be before I allowed this thing power over me and no matter how much I try to smile and say Im fine when someone out of concern asks me how I am it never works for me Im like a window you can see right through me
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 07:56:34 +0000
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