I have always been annoyed with cookie cut notion of it will be alright. Me? Im just made differently and have seen a lot of things in my life, experienced things I never thought Id ever see or imagine, Ive met a lot of people here and there...as a kid I will always remember on Enfield Lane in Edinburg neighborhood behind the Whatburger near by the Echo Hotel. Coach France on my paper route was quite a character or Mrs. Moran my old art teacher and then there were the Wolfes family who inspired me go be more. When I saw this HUGE book collection and wondered why? Why would you want to know so much stuff? Getting my first library card at the age of 6 as my grandfather stopped letting me help him work in yards...my only job was to read a book. For every book Id receive a dollar....I think back and though my life was not ideal from the age of birth till I left the house and making peace with my dad. I am of the belief God gives us more than we can handle. My car not starting means its simply broke down and I stumped my foot because I was not paying attention. The little things...mundane and etcetera. If there are no challenges then there is no growth. Stagnation is death. Progress ceases. Today, I shared some thoughts with my wife...and I love how she pushes me to be more and to utilize my gifts. For everyone that maybe mean something completely different. As I begin to read more and pursue my dream to be a writer- I have no desire to be a ghost writer, famous or rich. Im famous in my families sight, rich because of my friends and personal growth. Lazy intellect, aggressive unachiever...my dad always regrets not pushing my brother and I to be more. He has his own regrets...which begs the question would I be the man I am now without his misguided guidance in my youth? I do not know nor do I care. Its in the past and every choice I made and overcame are my own. I like to go about as if nothing is wrong. Youd never know the weight of the world on my shoulders...but I embrace it. Sometimes I want go feel that pain and anguish to help me appreciate the happiest moments of my life and contentment. For now as of recent things are going well. I was victorious because My Maker was beside me as my wife reminds me. She prays for me and I sense the reaching Hand of Grace- it wont change my quite, crass, dark humor or my ill fated views on modern society. Heh, but Im a work in progress. Im a little rusty in my writing but Im writing again and I feel Gods joy in my creativity. Shalom. Night everybody.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 06:08:11 +0000
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