I have been blessed.. After mom passed, I made the comment that I never thought I’d lose my mom at 30. Hindsight is 20/20. I was blessed to have 30 years with my Mom. Some aren’t as fortunate and on bad days, I remind myself of that. I was blessed with a mom that cared for me, raised me, loved me, showed me the right way to live and fought until the end to stay with us. On the last day of mom’s life, my sister asked her if she felt up to treatment the next day. We didn’t know she was slipping away from us but both Melissa and I felt that she might be too weak for another treatment. Mom replied, “Yes, if I can get someone to take me.” She wanted to be here with us but she wanted to go home too. She always said that she was a winner either way. She had us here and her parents, brothers and Jesus on the other side. She let us know that because of her faith, she’d be happy with however things ended. The hardest thing was saying “no” to life support the night she passed. Selfishly we wanted it, we wanted our mommy but we knew from previous conversations that she did not. It was the hardest, quickest decision we had to make. We all agreed that the right thing to do was to honor her wishes and let her pass with dignity and she did. The doctors said we would have a couple hours but we had 5 minutes that felt more like 30 seconds. We were blessed to have that time. We were blessed to stand beside her as she passed, just as she’d stood beside us all of these years. I can only imagine how much mom missed her parents, both of which had passed quite some time ago. Her faith assured her that she’d see them again and I know she was so eager to do so. I understand that feeling. I hope that I’ll have a long, healthy and happy life but when it is my time to go, I don’t want people to be sad for me because I’ll be with my momma again. Until then, I’ll keep telling her story and trying to live my life in a way that keeps her spirit alive. I’ll keep talking about what a fine person she was and consider the wisdom she handed down when faced with a difficult decision. I’ll keep the sad moments to a minimum by reflecting on happy moments we had together. I saw mom live through the loss of her parents. I wondered how she did it with such grace and dignity and now I know. She took it day by day and remembered the hope that she had to see them again. That same hope fuels me every day. I’ve made many friends and reconnected with others through my writing and mom’s page. I am thankful for those friendships and so proud when people speak about the way mom has touched their lives without ever meeting her. I hope that she’ll continue to inspire, encourage and lead others to find peace when faced with a difficult situation just as she does me. I am blessed to be her daughter. I am blessed to be able to call her mom and to share her story with anyone willing to listen. Thanks to The Clark Quartet for being a part of the Celebration of Moms life and signing the song featured in the video below.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 06:53:07 +0000
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