I have been frustrated with Aidan lately… He is seven, going to be eight in late September, and is nonstop, compulsive, and exhausting to be with. People will say “he’s just a boy being a boy!” and I get it, but he is a boy’s boy and a bigger handful than most and because he is so physically and athletically gifted, he can do whatever he wants (which can be dangerous at times). He is always trying to climb things he shouldn’t climb or compulsively grabbing or throwing things he shouldn’t be. So there is a fine line right? That line between letting him be a boy because he is seven and it’s just part of his personality (he really can’t help it, he has a compulsive personality)… and/or where I should scold him because his behavior is unacceptable. I feel like I am on him too much and because of this… because I am always scolding or yelling… he tunes me out. For the most part, he really is a good kid… he is generally smiling and nice to other kids (except for his sister) and behaves well in school, so I wonder if sometimes if I am not overreacting and just worried about what I look like. I think more parents do this than would care to admit - I’ve been doing some soul searching and know I’m guilty. I realize I worry how I am viewed as a parent… that my son’s behavior is a direct reflection of my parenting skills and others may judge me. SO STUPID!!!! But I do it… The friction between my son and I is heightened in public places like restaurants because I never know what he will do. I recently took him to the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton Ohio and because he got bored (he didn’t know any of the players) he started climbing on everything. I would tell him to stop, and he would stop… but without thinking, he would climb on the next thing that came along. There was a column there (that any normal person would look at and think, “no one could climb that”) and when I turned around he had climbed it and was touching the ceiling. At that instant… my only defense was to look away and pretend like it just wasn’t happening. Internally for me, in public places, it is exhausting… because I am responsible… but it is also because I have no control and I’m worried what others will say. Was it a big deal at the Hall of Fame? Probably not. Okay, definitely not… but I do want him to be able to behave a little better. My wife and I have discussed this problem because we know we are not on the same “parenting” page. It seems that I get on him too much and she does not get on him enough and I get upset with her because I feel like I always have to be the bad guy. I understand that this is an “age-old” parenting problem that countless of others have gone through and experienced before my wife and I…. I just don’t want to mess this thing up. The truth is… a lot of this depends on the kid’s personality and you can never change that. Hopefully, Aidan will grow out of this… unfortunately for me… this will mean he will also have to grow out of some other things - some of the things I love about him being seven years old… like the way he asks me to have a tickle fight every other day, or washing his hair in the bath, or having him cuddle up next to me and asking me to scratch his back before going to bed each night. Some things can’t change soon enough and other things I’m dreading because I know change is coming. Hey Mike……. You’re a parent…. IT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:23:38 +0000
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