I have been sick and last night could not sleep, pain in feet and legs so bad. Also finally I realise I am on my own with no one too talk to, my daughter in law, Edie Turpin called me last night but I didnt even know what to say to her I didnt want to sound whiney but I did tell her I had felt very lonely these past 2 days. Oh well I have to realise and remember I am on my own and be a big old brave non complaining lady about it. I did not realise I would be like this I think it has made me physically sick, stomach pains etc., Friday I spent the whole day in bed I really did not feel well. My daughter invited me to go shopping with her but I felt too sick to go. All I have left before I die are memories. I even tried to crochet, which I used to love to do but could not get into it. All of you that have your spouse appreciate them I dont think I realized how important mine was. When my dad died they lived in a nice condo my mother lasted about 2 weeks even tho we visited her often and called her every day, she started to have panic attacks she could not live alone so she came and lived with us. I didnt understand at that time how death can effect you physically and I thought she was not wise to live with someone because as she told me later, she always felt like it wasnt really her home as much as we tried to make her feel it was. She didnt ever learn to drive so that was hard on her. I can drive but apart from getting my hair done once a week and going to the grocery store I have know where to go. I could go to church today but after having a sleepless night I dont feel like going. Well enough about feeling sorry for myself today I will eat lots of ice cream and wait for the text that my 3rd g grand baby has been born. If anyone knows of a place where lonely people go tell me, please do not say the senior center. Is anyone else out there going through this
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 16:31:46 +0000
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