I have done lots of thinking of late, when you have no job that tends to be the thing you do when you look for one. I have been trying to change my life, trying to make myself happy on the inside. Food works, but only for a while, the same with books and cards and other things. I have tried to look on the inside, a scary thing in the best of times. What is it I am looking for? I want to feel like I matter, like I accomplish something. I realize that I need to make changes, one being that I have lost some weight, I can fit into older jeans, so that is working for me. I find myself wanting, needing to get up and move around, getting on my feet and try to do something even with the hurting knees. I am finding that I am feeling better on the inside, and feel it working outward. Maybe I should have tried this years ago, but years ago I was not where I am now. Not sure what it means, not sure what I could have done years ago to make this happen, but I cannot look back. Looking back is reminding you of what you were, and that takes away from focusing on where you are going.
Posted on: Thu, 26 Sep 2013 15:50:54 +0000
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