I have grown to learn that pain is the strongest and most vivid emotion that one can feel. There is no upside to pain. Theres no positive outcome from it. Nothing can make you look at the pain from a different perspective, there is only pain. Four years ago, maybe even five, I became well acquainted with pain. Sometimes when Im alone with my thoughts, I find myself trying to figure out which type of pain is worse. The answer is still beyond me. Only in those rare moments when I find myself boasting about the mother you were to others, does the pain almost subside. Being able to help others going through the same thing as me almost makes the pain completely worth it. I think Ive decided that the burning, Searing inescapable pain is the worst. Its inescapable, its a constant in my life. Pain. It isnt going anywhere anytime soon. When you think all the internal pain has gone, you begin to relax, begin to breathe again, you think that pain is yesterdays problem when in fact its todays problem, tomorrows problem and every other day after that. Four years ago today, my life was flipped upside down, the pain flooded in and will not stop. Missing you every single day.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 06:35:56 +0000
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