I have had the opportunity to take some time to reflect upon my life. When I turned 50 this month, I suddenly got scared when I came to the realization that I have surpassed my halfway point. It was overwhelming to me to think I was closer to my death than my youth. Suddenly I had a tremendous amount of anxiety and was overcome by feelings of things I had not yet accomplished. I decided to take the time to evaluate who I am and what my legacy will be. Here is what I know about my past. I was blessed to have parents that wanted the best for me. I had two sisters who were only a year apart so I was never alone and always had someone to play with. We lived in a neighborhood that had many kids and we were all friends. Their parents were like our own and we were respectful of them. We played outside all day. We had parades, put on shows, played army, had forts, built go carts, played board games, made up lawn games, rode bikes and had fun. We experimented, investigated and fantasized endlessly. How incredibly lucky was I to have had such a childhood. My heart is sad that kids today don’t have the same freedom to explore life the way we did because we need to keep them behind locked doors and within our eyesight. When I became a teenager, I was socially awkward in many aspects but I survived. I fell in love at such a young age and my world revolved around Stephen who I am lucky enough to still be with 34 years later. We did so many things and had the truest of friends and to this day are still my favorite people to be with. We lived life by the moment and did everything there was to do spontaneously. We camped, we went skiing, countless road trips to nowhere, we went to the clubs (it was the 80’s), we danced, we laughed and had fun. We traveled the entire east coast and went to Europe 3 times and explored the world with an open heart and an open mind. I somehow managed to do all of this while holding down 2 jobs and being a full time student. I have never been afraid of hard work and quickly learned that earning money allowed me the freedom to do these things so I worked even harder. I then got married right before my 24th birthday. I was happy. I had my daughter Sara when I was 28 years old. She was beautiful and a free spirit. To this day she is a true Aquarius by nature; independent, clever and a humanitarian and let’s not forget stubborn. She has been a wonderful daughter. Five years later came her brother Ian. He was the baby and he called Sara “Mama” ‘til he was 4 years old. He is bright, witty and always had the most interesting and strangest facts to share. I am happy to say that I have never once in my life been ashamed of them or unhappy with their life choices. I am so very fortunate and love them both dearly. Around the year 2000, life took a different twist and my world turned upside down. I was tested in many different ways. Life is a roller coaster and no doubt I was at the bottom of the hill. But strength and prayer overcame my tragedies and I ascended on the slow ride back up the hill. I then moved to Charlotte, NC to start anew and life was again good. So that is my past. In reflecting back I have realized that I have learned so much. This is what I know: 1. Thank God every day for the gift of life he has given us. 2. Wake up every day with a smile for it is a new day with new adventures. 3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There is not enough time. 4. Have thick skin. Don’t let negative things pierce through you. If it does, it gets trapped inside and consumes you. 5. Love people for who they are. Find the good in people and enjoy them for that. If they are truly evil, then cut them out of your life immediately. And I have learned that true evil does exist. 6. Don’t worry about what other people think. 7. Turn the negatives into positives in your life. Reevaluate the situation and let go of the bad. 8. Laugh as much as you can! So for my future, Reconnect with my old friends, continue to explore and be the best person I can be. Love unconditionally and be eternally happy. So I guess I really don’t have anything to fear. The end may be closer but there is still lots of time for me to live. I may be 50 but I am young at heart and happy. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope that I have taught my children to be themselves and take in all life has to offer. Thank you to all of you who have been a segment of my life and made me a better person. I am so very grateful for the joy you have brought me.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 17:41:03 +0000
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