I have now done it all- I have mugged a woodland creature for Tupperware. Siting at the table working, and I happen to glance out the glass doors. A very large raccoon is standing at the feeding and warming station we set up for Marshmallow (the Outdoor Invader Cat). Raccoon has picked up her food bowl and is shoveling her food into his mouth in a leisurely fashion. Oh, no, Player- not my cat food you dont. Out the door I go. Raccoon calmly snags entire bowl and flees for the treeline, still holding it as he runs on two legs. Any witnesses would have seen what looked like a very short bandit with lousy shaving habits waddling at speed, followed by either an angry minister in her jammies or the worlds larges Teletubbie. He slowed up when he hit the weeds. Either DROP IT, NOW MISTER! works the same in English and raccoon, or the raccoon is possibly married and understands what it means when someone crosses her arms and points at you. Player dropped the bowl. I stomped back to the house, pink slippers flapping in triumph. Furry little punk, Ill show him whos boss... think Im gonna sit back and watch... I slammed in and sat back down. It took me a moment to note how silent the house was- I looked up to find my husband blinking at me in slow contemplation. Sweetheart? Brian said cautiously. Did you just mug a badger for his lunchbox? It was a raccoon, and it was Marshmallows lunchbox, I snarled. Without breaking eye contact he put on his large headphones, and turned the volume on, loudly. I think I need to go to bed.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 03:16:22 +0000
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