I have shared before how when my ex and I were still married, and despite my working a white collar, professional office job, we still qualified for government assistance. I was embarrassed about that. And I didnt really even want to take it. But despite even working a 2nd part-time job, we still qualified. And it helped. Fast forward to when we separated. Again, my ex wife qualified for assistance. She took it, and it helped. Note that any and all assistance I provided before our ruling doesnt count legally. And her decision to apply for assistance was hers not mine. (This isnt a complaint against her, Im noting what happened and building to a larger point.) I keep hearing conservative pundits and talking heads talk about welfare moms and blah, blah, blah. The conservative argument says everyone should pull their weight and pay their own way. And on a personal level, I actually agree. As much as is possible, this should be the case. (Note here however my first paragraph above.) Now I dont know if this is handled differently in other states, but here in Nevada apparently while assistance for separated or single mothers might be fronted by taxpayers, as I found out today, I owe the state. And let me pause here to say, thats fine. In no way do I feel that as an able-bodied working father that if I can pay that back, I shouldnt have to. On the contrary, Im happy to. Except, although my ex was willing to drop the arrears I owe her, the state will still take the entirety of the amount I walk away from my house with. Its a relatively small amount, and overall on the house I will have lost money (even if I got the money). But it was a lump sum much needed. I am happy to continue paying off the arrears (to my ex, even to the state), I am less happy that noting my ex left the house to me any sale of it goes directly to the state with no percentage plan or ability to negotiate repayment even while I legally have spilt custody. I would gladly pay 50% of the sale to those arrears. But not even having that option seems wrong. And Im happy to downgrade in an attempt to live within my new/current means - but even in that attempt, Im being penalized. Even after receiving none of the money from the sale of the house, Im going to owe taxes on top of that for its sale. All that said as context (and a bit of venting and frustration): the next time I hear someone complain about a welfare mom living off the system Im going to invite them over for a slumber party to sleep on the floor next to me. Not all of us who have needed or used assistance want to live off others backs for free. Some of us are more than happy and willing to work and pay off our debts. Maybe if I could afford a high-priced lawyer I could find some loopholes. Maybe if huge corporations didnt focus on moving their assets oversees to avoid taxes more money might wind up trickling down to those who need it (and I know plenty of people in worse situations than mine currently). And yes, maybe if more people (both rich and poor) took responsibility for themselves wed be better off. Wake me up when any of that happens.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 01:54:57 +0000
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