I have something to say, and it might help you in some way, just suffer through one more rant on social media. Im not okay with how people have treated me and my friends living in Poplar Bluff. We all complain about how crappy it is to live here but its because were unhappy with the people we have been circumstantially forced to grow up with and past generations unwillingness to do anything about how corrupt this town actually is. I get it, you cant get a job unless its flipping patties or being on someones good side. To be on someones good side you have to be someone you are not because hardly anyone around accepts you for who you are. And thats horrifying. Each passing generation is perpetuating that. They have refused to take a look inside themselves. Or look at what is happening around them. For me, some old friends are now enemies because of their own selfish desires, their own misery that they invested in. Thats okay, I can let it be. Old lovers have forgotten what it means to have someone who cares in their life. So they carelessly move on to the next person, searching for themselves. They may or may not find it but thats okay, youre only responsible for yourself. Or in slightly different cases they feed into their carelessness and hatred and try to make your life harder because they simply can. Its easier to do that than think about actions first. There is a lot of drama, but only if thats what makes you feel purposeful, powerful, and it may even keep you entertained. Those that are entertained by the poor choices or situations of others are those that make poor choices of their own, more frequent that theyre willing to accept. And they also might be suffering through something they cant change. Ive made many mistakes and its impossible for anyone to go on without making mistakes. Thats how things actually work. I will make many more mistakes before the day I die and so will everybody around me. Everybody is guaranteed death. Things happen and nothing is ever guaranteed, but that. And thats hard to cope with. If youre living with a problem inside yourself and you run away from Poplar Bluff, no matter how safe it sounds, keep in mind that the issue is within you. If you live in Poplar Bluff (or any town that you feel this way about) and are suffering addiction to cope, may it be heroin or meth or even smoking weed, if youre using it to get away from anything, its never going to help you. If you know that now you may already be dependent on the nature. Look deep into yourself and figure out what youre running from. Strive to overcome it, think through it, fix it. Life is going to be hard and unless youre living with religion, reality is something hard to cope with. Keep in mind that while Cannabis is reaching legality, some of you do not need that. Some of you will be content doing nothing everyday as long as youre smoking a blunt while doing nothing. The solution isnt in holding it back from us, the solution is facing it and defeating it. Some win and some lose. Some learn and others do not. That goes for everything. Im not happy, Im realizing how shitty things can be and have been well on this path for quite a while. My family wouldnt notice if I disappeared, probably for months, not one would think about where I am. I am positive some of you feel this heartbreak. My friends are limited, who I choose to call best friends are those who accept me, not use me for their own social gain or take advantage of me, or have ridiculous expectations of how I should act. Those friends are good people. I gave too much of my heart to the wrong people. We all care a little too much about people some times. Im not the best financially, not having family to guide me or prepare me for that and worse, a horrible education system and everything else that is corrupt. Im not in school, weve all felt the whole whats the point in that one. Ive thrown away my future repeatedly. I am such an underachiever. I dont blame this on my circumstance, I know what I could be doing. Seeing all of these things for what they are has a way of changing people. We could all be better. We can all rise above the issues we face, no matter how minuscule or large they may seem. We have to stay motivated, willing, and open to do these things. Each of us have our issues, some of us refuse to look at them. If you cant be honest with yourself then the honesty of others will not stick with you. After all, how do you expect to recognize truth when you, yourself, cant find it within you? I can talk freely about these issues because I know Im not alone and I know I will never be alone. Im also no better than anyone else, for we all have these wars within. Theyre just different for everyone. Some harder and some easier, I know. We all have different perspectives, lives, challenges that change us. We could all do better or worse and we make that choice. I can choose to educate myself and prepare for what will make me happy with life. We can all live better. I share this because Im not alone, no one needs to be alone and not all things can be done alone. We need to recognize that we need each other. Ive always been here for anyone, just keep in mind that I suffer my own gang of wolves on the inside.
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 20:04:20 +0000
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