I have something to tell you. Should a coach be telling you this? Arent we all supposed to be so together, moving onwards, upwards, always? Perhaps Im a little different in my approach. I pride myself on keeping it real and connecting with you as who I am, not necessarily how I perceive society would like me to. And who I am encompasses challenges, the life lessons, the highs and the lows - just like you, I would imagine. Who I am, is a travelling soul currently enrolled in the school that is life. The thing I have to tell you is that Ive been struggling with self-worth around my business and my work for the last number of months, maybe six months or so. I was relying on outside sources to validate that I mattered, that what I did mattered, that I was needed, and what I was doing was important. Im somewhat embarrassed but would like to openly admit that I was relying on likes, comments, client numbers, a certain income and Facebook page growth to tell me I was good enough. The problem was though, I was never going to see that I was good enough until I believed it, thought it and felt it for myself. Life will often be a reflection of what we believe, how we think, what we choose to feel and how we act. As I was relying on outside sources for validation, it was never enough. This was because I was never satisfied internally, on a personal, heartfelt level. That satisfaction was only ever going to come with changing a few things internally to then have that level of fulfilment I desired. And then came a day last week when I had a chat to myself that turned into great bit whopping epiphany that leads me to now. This is how the conversation with Self went: I said: Self, why have we done so well in turning our life around in the area of relationships, to bring us to a place of incredible happiness, peace and contentment with a beautiful man, but we are not finding this peace and contentment with work? Self said: Because when we were searching for love, we loved and accepted ourself first and foremost, so we brought to us that which we already were. Like attracts like, Bobbi, you know that. Self then went on to say: Now, look at the area of your work and your level of contentment. From what place are you operating from? I said: Fear. Lack of self worth. That I may not be good enough. That others are probably better …. better writers, better coaches, better business builders …. What if I’m not good enough … what if someone sees I’m not good enough? Right, Self said. And you base that on what exactly, Bobbi? I said: Um … well …. I’m not sure exactly, but I’m guessing I’d be bigger and better and be where I want to be if I was indeed good enough? Self said: And being good enough comes from others telling you or showing you you’re okay? That you will grow to be bigger and better if and when others tell you over and over to infinity that you’re good enough? I said: I know you’re trying to catch me out. You know that I know that it doesn’t happen like that – that it happens from within. Self said: Now we’re getting somewhere. So if acceptance of self comes from within, what can you tell me that supports a belief that you are good enough and you do belong in this arena without what anyone else says, thinks or does? I said: Okay, let me think. Well, I have fantastic qualifications. I did a year’s schooling and worked really hard for a great result. I am an accredited life coach and NLP practitioner and I’ve been practicing for the last seven years. I have hundreds of hours with happy and satisfied clients. Self said: That’s a start, what else shows you you’re good enough? I said: Okay, well, I wrote a newspaper column every week consecutively for two years. I always submitted on time and I thought I wrote really well, with the word allowance I had. You want more don’t you? Self said: Keep going. I said: Well, this is all heart driven stuff. This is what I understand to be God speak in a dialect that I can interpret. This comes through me to them. I believe in people. I believe they can grow, soar, live a life of bliss. I believe they can create, find joy and connect in the space of love … with themselves, life and others. Self said: Bingo. You are working on behalf of God Source energy. How can that in any way, shape or form ever ‘not be good enough’? I said: It will always be good enough, because this work is always ‘love’. And love is good. Love knows success. Love knows expansion. Love knows connection. Love knows peace. Love is God, love is the Universe. Love’s goodness knows no limits. Self said: You realise you’ve been detrimental to our growth, don’t you? I said: Yep, I see that I am the lock and the key. I see I was looking outside, not in. I see any ‘lack’ was only a projection of fear. I was trying so hard to build on something that lacked the appropriate solid foundation, and that foundation was always going to be me. I see, like finding love before, I have to fully step into acceptance of self with belief in order to draw that same success with growth in business. I see, that when I step away from myself and have a clear and unobstructed view, that I am absolutely the best possible person to be doing this unique ‘Bobbi-speak’ for anyone who may need to read it or hear it. And what I feel in this acceptance, is God standing right next to me and together this joint energy flows from me, out into the world for anyone who resonates with its vibration. Self said: So where to now? I said: If I BE from my core, I will never fail. That is the place I’m going to go sit in. Self said: Brilliant. We’re going to shine, you do know that, don’t you? I said: Sure, but I think we always have. [wink] Oh, and one last thing … Self said: What’s that? I said: You know, I was always on the lookout for external evidence that I was good enough, and I received this today, but I feel it’s God reaffirming to me that we’re on the right track, and that we have to be happy and satisfied with what we’re doing and trust in who we’re reaching. It’s like God is saying “you do the work, I’ll take it where it needs to be”. I got a message on Facebook from someone I’ve never interacted with that said: “Coach Bobbi got me through some extremely devastating times in my life and I will be forever grateful to her. Much love.” I don’t realise the impact this work can have. Self said: You never will fully realise, and that has to be okay. Just know God’s got it ALL under control, Bobbi.
Posted on: Fri, 11 Apr 2014 11:18:35 +0000
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