I have spent most of my life viewing it (life) from a contrarian perspective. One of the things I have learned is that conventional wisdom is not often wise. For instance, the popular presentation of marriages is that the couple needs to learn how to be closer, happier or have more. While I havent read all the books on marriage, every one that I have ever read uses the comparative to tell the readers how to have a happier or closer relationship. I learned several years ago that this approach to marriages is not only fallacious and erroneous, it is one of the elements in the equation that keeps couples from having the best relationship they can possibly have. Wanting more, or being happier or being closer is like being on a treadmill of frustration, futility and ultimately failure. What I have learned was the result of looking closely at Genesis 2:24 which says (depending on your version) For this reason shall a man leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and THEY SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. And the epiphany exploded in my brain: that means that when a man and woman get married they are as close as they are ever going to get: one flesh. As I pondered the mystery of this, I came to the realization that the thing for my wife and me to do as we operated out of this paradigm was to explore the spiritual, physical, emotional and intellectual components of our relationship. It has worked very well. And the stress of trying to get closer -- a virtual impossibility --was gone.
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 04:28:34 +0000
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