I have to work harder than most people to be where i should be. Genetically im screwed. Ive done the best i can do. Ive made mistakes. And i own them. I cant change them or justify them. All i can do is learn from them. And im not trying to make excuses. Im me i make my decisions. I am where i am because of no one other than myself. I may be further because of the help of other people. But only i can set me back. No sin is greater than another. I am a siner. Luckly i have a God a father that is forgiving and loving. And Luckly my God also knows tough love. I struggle daily. And often fail. I am human and i am no better than the ground i walk on. I have had so many things happen in my life that i wish would happen to no one. But God allows these things to happen not to tare us down or to weaken us but to allow us to be humble and appreciative. And to learn and be stronger from it. Im not stupid nor oblivious to any of that. And yet i still allow my self to do things i know is not right by God. God says he will forgive you but you must ask and repent. And all will not only be forgiven but forgoten. You really do get a fresh start with God. And the world will try to tare you down by making sure you never forget where you were who you used to be what youve done. My prayer tonight is that God help me be the woman of God he wants me to be. That he help me to set an example for the generations following me. That he help me find the courage to not be afraid of being alone. That he help me feel the acceptance ive always craved. That not onky he forgive me for my sins but help me have the strength to turn from those sins and not turn back to them when hardships come my way. That he help heal what is broken in my family. That he guide me in the right direction. That he help me locate my self worth. That he help open doors for me to find a job thats gonna help me toward the future i want for myself so i can get ahead and go back to school with out having to be someone elses charity case. That he remove the fear from my life. That he remove the lust from my heart and mind. That in all this his will be done. And that he will help all those who arnt as fortunate as i. Amen. I love my freedom. As humans as Americans we have freedom we have choice. I just wish i could wrap my head around the right choices and stick with it.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 06:29:54 +0000
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