I just checked my own posts to FB, and found ...nothing, zippo. I guess Ive never posted ANYTHING on my own FB page. Only collected friends and family to check on, been tagged in a few picks, sent a few personal notes, and ...thats it. I guess Im not much for blurbs and tweets and little status updates. So, Im changing my profile pic for the first time in 10 years, and now Ill do my first real post. This was something I posted to our local paragliding forum (also a rare occurrence) and it was decently received. I may have written it about free flying (paragliding for me), and its a bit long winded, but it could apply, really, to anything we might do in our lives where we must balance potentially great reward with considerable risk. And as it says something about who I am (or would like to be) I figured - what the heck. Why do I fly? A big question. Perhaps for you its obvious, like “The potential reward is worth the risk”, or “Duh.... Its frickin flying dude!”, and thats it. More likely, after some thought, its not so obvious. I mean, what is the reward really? Can you define that? And so what factors determine its potential? And then what risk is acceptable in the balance? I have needed to answer those questions for myself. Our discussion the other night at the meeting, as well as some tragic events in the past year or so, have made me want to start this dialogue... and I hope it IS a dialogue. Why do I fly? Adventure, thrill, beauty, challenge, risk, camaraderie, competition... love? Words, just words – that without depth, without context, understanding and inspiration, are just words that are much less than they could be – just like flying really. If I dont understand why it is I do what I do, I risk short-changing the experience itself. Or worse, doing it for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time, and in the wrong frame of mind, and so (especially with flying) increasing risk while decreasing the potential reward. And so, my drive to to really understand why I fly is tied directly with my need to fly safer, and my desire to get more out of the flying I actually do. A thought experiment: OK, so I know what follows will sound cliche, but stay with me... Every heartbeat, every breath in this life is a gift that should not be wasted. Every moment has the potential for great wonder, ...but so much of that potential rests with me, and not the moment itself. I realize (the older I get) that most of what is gained from any experience is not due so much to the physical circumstances of the event, but from my awareness, my understanding, my ability and determination to bring the best of myself to the fullness of the moment. In short, the worth of any experience is directly proportionate to my capacity to appreciate it. In other words, a shallow heart and mind will tend to have shallow experiences regardless of the circumstances, whereas a healthy and wealthy soul enriches all the moments it touches. You could conclude from this, then, that I dont need to fly to have a rich life. And that is true. But on the other hand, flying is such a powerful experience circumstantially, and with so much physical, mental and even emotional stimulus, that it motivates me to grow as a person to more fully appreciate it. And the more I appreciate it, the more I want to do it. Few experiences in life, from a purely situational perspective, can rival free flying (in my case, paragliding). From the act of bringing up the glider. The sight of this grand, graceful wing coming up in front of me. The feel of it first in the hands, and then in the body. The feel of the air moving it. The challenge to control, to dance with, and work with, and not against, this power so much greater than myself. Then launching into the air - the abyss. The feeling of suspension and movement in 3-dimensional space. The sudden, complete immersion into this void so foreign to our nature, like scuba diving in the sky... And thats just the launch! What I mean is, who wants to soar above the flatirons west of Boulder, dancing with the swifts at cloud base, while strapped to wing of just cloth and string, and NOT fully grasp wonder of what youre doing – not be more one with wing and the air - not see the rare beauty and power in those moments! Nobody else experiences the earth and sky like we do, unless in their dreams. I should not, therefor, CANNOT let such a gift be wasted because of a bad attitude, or poor preparation, or generally not being awake to what Im doing and why Im doing it - like sleepwalking through the Land of OZ. And, on top of that, sleepwalkers tend to run into things. A few words then about danger and risk. Lets face it. Free flying is dangerous. You can do everything in your power to prepare against or mitigate the risks, but you will NEVER make it safe relative to most other activities in life. ...And yet so many fly with the sense that they are indestructible, even if they dont acknowledge it – that accidents only happen to other people, people that are unprepared and/or use poor judgment. Or, they are still among those fearless (usually new) pilots that seem to lack that sense of imminent danger that is inherent to the sport, regardless of what their rational brain may tell them. For these, the shock when that awareness finally does hit home – I mean really hits home - is often too much, and the experience of flying is ruined for them. For me, however, that imminent and intimate awareness of my mortality, the understanding and acceptance that this could be my last flight, or even my last moments on this earth, are part of the reasons I DO fly. Dont get me wrong. I dont have a death wish, or want to marginalize safety. Quite the opposite! What I mean is, you are never so alive as when you are consciously and fully aware of the real danger you are in, and you are at the same time doing everything possible to survive and thrive through that danger. WAKE UP! I cannot guarantee, even discounting forces outside my control, that I will never show poor judgment, or always have the right skills when most needed, nor, therefore, that I will never have an accident – my fault or otherwise. Ive already had a few, and most were my fault. I can, however, commit to make every effort to be better prepared, use better judgment, and improve my skills. And this isnt just to be safer, but also, again, to better appreciate the experience of flying itself. Bottom line, I fly because the potential reward is far greater to me than the risks. So if I intend to keep flying, and I do, I need to work on both sides of that equation. And when I fail, may the grace of God carry me ...as He has already. Finally (sorry, but I have to go there) none of us are immortal. Were all going to die of something, someday, and in the mean time very real dangers surround us, whether we fly or not. If for me it happens while flying, then I can say Im grateful for a great life so far. I dont regret that I chose to take up flying,... and there are much worse ways to go. In the mean time, I intend to embrace this gift of life (and flying) as bestowed to me, with as much grit, gusto, joy and determined wakefulness as I can give it. So... why do you fly? ...Or do whatever you do?
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 00:18:51 +0000
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