I just found this article in my old computer. It is dated 2004 and I dont know where I found it but I liked it then and still do, even though it is a bit long. How do you know if youre cut out for a new life abroad...or if youre better off staying put? You know youre not ready for a new life in a foreign haven if: 1.) Your umbilical cord is connected to your keyboard or telephone. In many of the countries youre probably considering, telephone service can be unreliable. Your cell phone probably wont work. And your Internet connection, if you have one, will be slow and painful. In a Third World country, you probably have a 50-50 chance of being able to send e-mail when you want to--and thats in the major metropolitan areas. If you are a day trader, forget about it. 2.) You must have a three-minute egg for breakfast. Cant abide a four-minute egg? What about a two-minute egg? Or a 20-minute egg? Do you expect your waiter to set a hot cup of coffee in front of you within minutes after youve sat down at the table? What happens if the people at the table next to you, who came in after you, get their food before you have even ordered? If these things bother you, you should cross most Latin, Caribbean, and even many European countries off your list. If you must have Hellmans Lite Mayonnaise, Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream, Ballpark Franks, or any other particular name-brand product, bring your own supply...or, better, learn to eat like the locals. 3.) You dont know norte from sur. You may expect that, in most places around the world, you will be able to find someone who speaks English. We say, dont count on it. In some places (Panama City, for example), yes, youll be able to get by with little or no Spanish. But part of the fun of moving to a foreign country is learning a new language. If you cant read the menu at the restaurant, how will you ask the waiter what it says...and how will you understand him when he tells you? Will you be able to ask for directions if you are lost or tell a doctor whats wrong with you? You will never penetrate beneath the tourist level of a place until you learn to speak the language of the locals. 4.) You own a watch. OK, maybe were exaggerating here. But, the truth is, if time is money to you...youll go broke in most Latin and Caribbean countries...and many other places besides (including Ireland)...where you can spend an entire afternoon standing in line waiting for an ID card, a drivers license, or your car registration...only to be told at the end of the day that the office is closing and youll have to come back tomorrow. If you cant abide waiting...and you dont like the idea of slipping someone a five-dollar bill to move you to the front of the line...then maybe you should keep your Timex and the arm it is attached to at home. 5.) You dont like to be patronized. Will the Internet server be up later today? Si. Can you fix a 3-minute egg? Si. Will the office be open tomorrow so I can finally get my drivers license? Si. Do you speak English? Sí, y usted me entenderá. Americans are among the only people in the world who dont mind telling you no if thats the answer to your question. Outside the U.S., and especially in Latin cultures, people are extremely polite and dont want to disappoint you. They simply are not capable of telling you no or I dont know--even when they absolutely have neither the ability nor the intention to follow through. They are not intending to mislead you; they just want to make you happy. By the way, this applies to giving directions, too. In Mexico last week, we stopped a half-dozen times to ask directions to our hotel in Leon. We were given, with confidence, six entirely different answers and pointed to every corner of that city. We finally found a map...and made our way to the hotel on our own. 6.) Barking dogs keep you awake at night. The U.S. is heavily regulated...Latin American countries are not. This is one of their big advantages in many ways...but it comes with some downsides. If your neighbors dog bothers you, and your neighbor isnt interested in doing something to stop the barking...who can you complain to? No one. Why do you see one-room shacks alongside million-dollar mansions? Because there are no zoning laws. Why do jackhammers sometimes operate at 3 a.m.? Why do the locals set off firecrackers at all hours of the day and night? Why do cars drive on the roads with no brake lights and no operating turn signals? Because they can.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 16:07:49 +0000
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