I just had my first bathroom break after getting rid of my cat today and I never realized how lonely pooping alone would be until my little bathroom buddy was gone. Anyone who has a cat knows what thats like. Hopefully this new found freedom is not squandered and I take advantage of it as soon as my foot is healed. I miss my cat, Ash, but I cant continue to neglect him. I didnt have the patience or time for him that he obviously deserved and needed and even though I was feeding him and getting him toys and treats and everything I didnt have the opportunity to socialize with him and he was starting to act out of character because of it by shitting everywhere and stuff that bad cats do. he even started to be aggressive and biting and attacking me and my guests. on top of lacking the time to be there for him and not being able to properly provide all of that for him, I had a few occasions when he got out due to others and them letting him get out somehow. the first relationship that I was in when I got him was the first time that happened when we were robbed and the robbers who broke in left the door open for him to get out. the second and last time he got out was due to my recent ex, Malachi, leaving the door or window open. now I dont have to worry about getting anyone to take care of him while Im gone and worry about others tormenting him (which some of my guests have done, I suppose they dont realize its not abusive and are trying to be playful.) its been like a bad relationship with one of my ex boyfriends or even raising a child. and I totally messed up. Im not going to be getting another one until I am ready to raise a child because I was wrong to treat this cat like an animal instead of a child and unfortunately I messed up with neglecting his socialization and interaction. Im just going to take this as a lesson and focus on myself now that I dont have to worry about this cat being dependant on me and my responsibility for it. Im not really capable or equipped to be there for him and properly provide all that he needs to be content. I hope he is going to be okay and gets a friend or family to love and that will provide all of his needs. Im sorry Im not going to be there for him and be the one that he needed to take care of him. Im going to miss him and probably love him forever since he was my first baby boy. Im sorry I didnt have the patience or time for him that he needed and even though I got him the things that he needed I didnt give him the interaction and stuff that he needed too. I dont want to be like that, and he deserves a lot more than that. I dont think I will be getting another one until the time Im able to properly provide all the time and effort into it. I hope he is going to get all that he needs now that I have set him free. I dont have to worry about getting anyone to take care of him while Im gone and worry about his safety and my property. Im sorry about him being gone but Im sure its for the best for everyone. Im going to be able to do what I want and travel, etc, without having to get a cat sitter for him or whatever and I just hope he is going to get a chance to be in a better environment and family than I was able to give him. I dont know if Im ever going to forgive myself for this and I dont think Im going to be able to forget about him because he was my first cat that I had bought. my baby boy Ash. Ill never forget him.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 21:16:57 +0000
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