I just had to make a quick run to Walmart to get a poster board. Just one of those quick in and out of the store trips. You know how those trips turn out to be, though. Before I could get both feet through the door, I got assaulted by the door greeter. Well .. . not assaulted, actually, but stopped. She wanted to know if Fed X runs on Saturday. Im not sure why she thought I would know Fed Xs Saturday schedule, but I told her I dont think so, except for special, express shipments. Maybe she just thought I was the most intelligent looking person to go through Walmarts doors today. She then proceeded to tell me what day she thinks her package will arrive, which made me wonder why she asked me. I took a step forward, inching my way on into the store, but she started telling me that her package is coming all the way from England. Then, she told me its a handmade belt that she ordered for an Elvis impersonator. Then, she told me she paid $300 for it. My mind stirred with a little excitement at that point, thinking that I needed to get a job as a Walmart door greeter so that I could make that kind of money. She shattered my thoughts, though, by continuing on, telling me this impersonators performance schedule and where he will be and when and what all he does during his performance and how good looking he is, etc. I started to tell her that I wouldnt even want to go see the real Elvis himself, but my mind wandered again, thinking that, maybe I would go see him if he were performing today. What with him being dead and all, I thought that might be real interesting. Then, I envisioned all the fat melted away from his body and wandered if he would still be able to rotate and grind his pelvis. That thought awoke me, so I finally told the door greeter that I had to hurry. I grabbed my poster board, paid, and headed toward the doors on the opposite side of the store. No way did I want her to capture me again at her door. Well, lo and behold, there she was at the door I went to exit through. It never occurred to me that she would be changing doors. As I turned real quick to head back to the doors that I initially entered through, I could see her from the corner of my eye, waving to me. I didnt know if she was trying to stop me again, or just trying to tell me goodbye.
Posted on: Sat, 17 May 2014 20:22:18 +0000
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