I just wish my family understood me. Instead of putting me down ,and saying Im stupid , fag, retard, wont be nothing when he grows up! he is just like his dad!, and that I just need to shut up and be a man! well no I dont need to be a man. I need to be me! I hate that word! I dont be-leave in that word! I dont think my family understands that Im not a tough guy!, and they need to stop expecting so much from me, because in the end. Im just a disappointment to them. I dont think they noticed how much they hurt me, but they will never understand that. If they havent noticed yet I dont go to them when Im sad or had a bad day, because why go to them when you cant trust them? I try to be in my own little world. Its sad when most of your emotional problems comes from your own family. Thats why I dont trust no one. Not even my own family. I have no one....they make me feel like I dont belong with them. Like if there a shamed to be seen with me! . . . . At one point. I had pride in my family. I thought they can take the world on! and defend me from the monsters, but in a crazy plot twist they became the monsters! That scared me into hiding underneath my bed. I had allot of people leave me in my life, my dad, my friends and that hurt me! my family says they will always be there for me . . . yeah! there hurting me with emotional torment! Id rather have them leave me or just leave me alone and dont bother me like everybody else. I want no one because every time I get close BOOM! The rat trap snaps! Im better off to myself. I really dont mind being alone! No one can hurt me that way. I didnt have a father figure growing up so I cant just man up like they want me to! In order for me to man up. I needed a father, but I dont want one anymore I dont want anything anymore,just to be left alone from everything. They killed my pride, spirit, dreams, self esteem and confidence. I holded this in for a long time, but I cant take it anymore.. . . . they keep me re-living the past over and over and over. Its hard to love something that hurts you. why cant I just do me and they do them? and if I do need anything Ill go to them. . . and hopefully they can be some what understanding. I guess me and Jesus are kinda similar. He was misunderstood and Im misunderstood. so I guess you have to be misunderstood to be grate! Right?
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 06:46:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015