I know I never share personal crap like this but I am really bothered by it today so .... I had thought moving and change would be good for me and honestly It has, or so I thought. I love it here and have been so happy and I thought I had this PTSD crap all under control and I was in control again and I was finaly fine omg I was so wrong! I was in such a great mood today, it was perfectly beautiful here today and I was in the gym jamming with k-love and the treadmill and singin along (its ok, nobody was there) I can only describe it as a sudden black wave/cloud that was like an invisible punch in the face and gut at the same time. took my breath away. anger. I dont know why or where it came from and it was scary as hell. I know I suffer from PTSD but there were NONE of my usual triggers around. anyway. . . left immediately and hit the beach alone and walked it off and feel alright now. why would I share this crap when usualy I do NOT, because If I was so surprised by this (and its MY illness) I thought maybe someone else might like to know they arent alone. also so ppl know just cause someones pictures are always sunny and pretty theres always more there the pictures dont show. dont worry I am better now. it was so fast its unreal and when its gone its almost hard to remember how absolutely consumeing it was and so overwhelming/overpowering. k thats it ppl! now back to sunshiney pictures thanks for the vent listening
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:20:38 +0000
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