I know Im not alone when just a thought or memory of a special person would escalate into remembering so many I have loved and lost, and most are now gone from this life and moved on from their earthly bodies, memories of family then thoughts move on to friends and best friends that Ive had on this journey of my life, and the more I reflect back the longer the list goes on, and as bad as my memory is on many things Ive found when these thoughts come upon my mind I am always amazed of how fast time has passed and how so many Ive known will suddenly race across my mind, its in those moments I realize how fragile life really is, and along with these memories also comes how they were taken away in so many ways, car accidents, job accidents, overdoses, suicides and even murder, and those struck down from disease way to young in life , I know Gods plan for all of our lives is most times way beyond my own understanding, and even knowing their spirit is in a place where there is such beauty and peace, and there are no tears or pain , I still have periods when I find it difficult to chase the ache and emptiness away, its as if a little piece my heart went with each of them , And I know that none of them would want me feel lost or sad , I believe in the truth and reality of Jesus and Heaven , even in knowing this I still find myself grieving when a memory sneaks up on me... , I know a lot of people say we cant live in our pasts... I fondly remember a Bonnie Rait song I used to quote a verse from and have shared with those I care for on so many occasions ... leave what belongs in the past, live your life like a new born child for its only the moment that lasts and there is some truth in that, because we shouldnt let our past mistakes and words spoken over our life torment us and consume all that was and is good, I have also found there are those in my life, I will never forget that I shared so much of life with, some of the experiences being the best memories in my life, of those who stood by me , and believed in me , regardless of my shortcomings or what paths I strayed down, and yes even those who walked away leaving me feeling like a failure, it was in those times I found during the long seemingly endless process of healing also came some of the most valuable lessons and growth as I took ownership of my own dysfunction and the mistakes made, and with each heartbreak gaining a better understanding of what love truly is, (1 Corinthians 13 : 4 -7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres) . And on these evenings when memories fall upon me as crazy as it may seem to some, I have found in the midst as tears fill my eyes , alone in the quiet and stillness of the night, comes a soft subtle whisper of their spirit still living with me, a sense of comfort as if they witnessed from above how much I love and miss them, faith its said is believing in what you cannot see... I do believe from my own lfe experience there is much happening in the realms of the unseen, both good and evil, God knows I cant deny lookng back at my life and not know there are without doubt Gaurdian Angels placed around us at times in our journeys, of course some of us required a bit more attention than others though He holds the same love for us all , :) , Im pretty sure If God were to text His angels on my account ? :) most of His messages sending help my way probably most likely ended with smh shaking my head :) And through it all from the battles consequences and despair, to comfort and joy, I have found a new strength, and a desire in my heart to be pleasing to the Lords eyes first, learning to love as He does, and oh yes I though fall short each day, I also know that through Christ Jesus all things are possible, so I will continue to ask the Holy Spirit for help and awareness and consider each improvement a blessing and a victory, I pray that you find comfort in Gods blessings even on days when skies are gray and your heart aches, maybe thoughts about what could have been, or thinking if only I would have done or said things I should have would life be different ? Ive found some thoughts are better left not trying so hard to understand, but rather just trusting Gods plan and purpose for your life knowing that no matter how bad the storms in life seem, He has you right where you are supposed to be, and with the dawn of each day awake to the gift of a new beginning, remembering the only thing you will take with you when your journey here on earth is finished, will be your your works and the key to all works is in love, I pray your hearts desire seeks and finds the true love of God, as defined in 1 Corinthians and that all you have known about the love of this world is renewed in His love. as Pastor Joyce would say, today is a new day with no mistakes in it.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:51:44 +0000
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