I know that I have so much to be grateful for- But without all the pain Ive gone through, I would have no clue. From my birth on-there has been so much heartache and so many things so many of you will never know- and thats ok- I simply say this because I KNOW what it is like to hurt from the depths of despair- From the depths of my soul; from my very being. I know the rejection of birth parents, the loss of loved ones; the death of people I hold dear. I have miscarried and lost a baby. Ive lost a husband and know what death looks like in the hours of the morning when you least expect it- I have been gossiped about and blamed for things I shouldnt have- Ive been let down and disappointed. Ive been abused in more ways than I can care to comment on Facebook-I have hurt, I have cried so hard I ran out of tears- Ive felt so alone until I felt I didnt think I was going to live through it. I say all this to say- Through all those things... Ive also seen beauty, And joy and Ive received love. I have received forgiveness I didnt deserve sometimes, I was taught to love in return and to forgive in return. I learned how to not be so damn judgmental of other people. My experiences certainly taught me to think outside the box. Im so much more tolerant and accepting of others and have the capacity to LISTEN better. I dont jump to conclusions and Im so glad I dont!! I realize more times than not, people actually are innocent. I have been so humbled. Pain and struggle shape you. They make you STRONGER!!! Not weaker. I have never felt I was weaker because of all that Ive gone through. Not for a moment. And for that I am grateful. I know heartache. I KNOW hurt. And at times I still live with things that haunt me. II find it hard to reign it in at times... but I work on bettering myself daily- and God is still working on me too! I am SO thankful for the love that surrounds me. For the arms that surround me. And I wont ever forget that. I am a work in progress. I am NOT perfect. I know pain but BECAUSE of that pain, I also know how to appreciate the love and the people who need me most. I also have a great need to savor it. When I post about my happiness And the people I love, it is because I have been through HELL...absolute HELL...I am FINALLY able to- see- light. There is peace and joy again and Im going to spread it. I cannot tell you what that means to me. So... If anyone is offended by my mushiness- Im not sorry. My Facebook page is meant for sharing MY News with MY friends and family. If you dont care to hear about it, you need to remove yourself- you can either use the scroll option, which isnt really all that painful (believe me, I do it daily) or delete me . I want to be happy and I am not going to worry about whether or not you find it offensive. I want to share it with my friends and family who ARE happy for me. That is what MY Facebook page is for!! If you cant be happy for me- either you shouldnt be looking at my page or youre welcome to remove me. Thats your choice. I just thought you should know where my heart is. Chris has been just as heartbroken and alone as me. Its time for some happiness around this joint. Lol!! Lawdhammercy there enough heartache to go around in this world already. Find something else to be pissy about. I Thank God we have both found a safe haven in one another. Im gonna savor these moments. There is only one life. We are living ours. If it winds up on my Facebook page, thats what my Facebook page is for- Sharing. Get over it.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 07:48:28 +0000
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