I lived of the afterbirth inside of the cage. Very often the afterbirth of my children was the only thing to eat for me. It was very strange for me to have my first period. When I had my first menstruation I pulled myself up from the side of my cage because I wanted to take a good look at how that stuff that came out of my body looked like. This was something new that I had not seen before. I knew how my poop looked like and I knew how that my poop smelled and how my poop tasted. I smelled my own urine all the time. I did not know that my urine was yellow. I knew the cage smelled. When I had my first period I was younger then one year old. When I grew up I learned the reason why I got my period when I was younger then one year old. She put some medication for animals in my food. She would usually just throw a bottle into my cage with milk that was to warm for me to drink. When that blood came out of my body I tried to pull myself up to the sides of my cage again and for the first time I could really pull myself up to the side of the cage. She was there when I pulled myself up to the sides of my cage for the first time. That moment was the moment I could no longer deny to myself how bad and evil and angry and mean and violent this person was. This was the first time that I looked at that woman without seeing a person that a hoped would hold me and hugh me and give me food and make my body stop feeling so much pain. Most of that pain was from lying in my own urine for days. I would just lie in my cage on my back on wet newspapers and sometimes I would lie on something else that was on the bottom of my cage. I think there was an aluminium plate on the bottom of the cage.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Aug 2013 13:09:58 +0000