I miss her more and more with each day Im forced to endure. It seems like so long since Ive seen and talked to my baby but some moments I feel like reality has just hit as if she just passed! I know it is because I just cant accept and be ok that my babygirl is no longer here! The more I have to act like Im ok and hold in my pain to do things the harder I emotionally crash. I dread and avoid alot. It would be so easy to cave to the grief and anxiety giving up. Instead I make an attempt some days and others I just dont care. Everyday I pray for mercy from my days of suffering here without her. I used to wake up thankful that my kids and I were ok but that day comes no more as someone tore our family apart!!! For which he takes zero responsibility and shows zero remorse!!!! He also takes no thought of our loss, pain, and anger because he has no concern with anything but saving his own ass!!!! I guess that is why he was the only one buckled up and was the only one walking around after he intentionally did what he did!!!! He is a flat out murderer and loser!!!! I so dread trial but it is the only way for truth and his having to face it. Therefore, I fight for my Ashlyns right to have lived and not been done the way she was. To me she is still 17, a junior in high school, and suppose to be in her bed each night.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 04:33:46 +0000