I must confess to all of my brothers and sisters in Christ, that after 12 1/2 years of walking with Him, I still have a long ways to go in terms of love. I am far from being the husband and dad I am called to be. I still have my very deepest of unresolved hurts and issues that continue to cause problems in my life and in my marriage. Things at my deepest part of my core that I can not fix within myself nor can I deny exist. At times, I regrettably get way out of line with the way I talk to my wife. I say things I should not say and I obviously lack the self control to hold my tongue and I sometimes lack the ability to communicate properly when I am extremely hurt without being really insulting to her. I still am unable to completely love like God defines in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Some days are better than others, but some days I am far from this definition. Its been 36 weeks now since He led me to step into His Ministry full time and by faith alone with only Him leading me and my family, I stepped in. He continues to open doors, orchestrate things and provide in ways only He can and He continues to do all of this despite myself and regardless of my performance. Its all Jesus Christ thats doing everything. Anything good and lasting thats come from my preaching has only been good and lasting because of the demonstration of the power of the Holy Spirit thats been present. It has nothing to do with me. I am just a vessel thats along for the ride following wherever, however and whenever He leads. If I am going to bear testimony, I am not going to pick and choose what I should or should not publicly reveal in order to try to make myself sound or seem better than I really am. Because this is not about me. its about Him. Its about who He is, His presence and His amazing grace that Hes working directly in my life that continues to hold it altogether. Its about the fact that Hes doing everything, this isnt some religious do it yourself program. I have no righteousness of my own. My only hope is Jesus Christ. As Joyce Meyer would say, Im not where I want to be, but thank God Im not where I used to be. I am a work in progress and I also have not obtained all this.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 03:43:34 +0000
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