( I need to apologize to family and friends now...you may not want to read this...but this is something I NEED to say...something I can never let my little girl hear or see...but something I need to release from my heart... ) 2 years ago today you made a decision that changed Kaias and my lives forever...and I hate you for it! We loved you...yes life was not perfect...it was hard...HARDER than we had ever seen it...but we had each other and we could of weathered the storm...yet you chose to stop believing in us...in our little girl...and took the easy way out...as much as I try and understand why you chose to take your own life I just cant...because it just wasnt your life you took that day..you took a part of everyones life that loved you, you took a huge part of my life but you DESTROYED our little girls life...and left us to pick up the pieces...yes your pain no longer exists for you...but it now exists for Kaia...and every single minute of every single day she endures it...the pain that her Daddy felt was just too much to handle any longer is now the pain that she carries...how could you do that to her? After you died she seemed to handle it so well...She would tell me Daddy hurt Mommy, but he doesnt hurt anymore...but what I didnt didnt want to believe is that the only thing she truly understood is that you inevitably taught her is that when things get tough there is an easy way out...when what you SHOULD have taught our precious little girl is that when life gets unbearable, you do everything you can to get through it...I am sorry I can longer cry for you...my tears are now for Kaia...and you can rest assured that every minute of everyday I surround her with people that love and care for her...people that show her in so many ways how wonderful she is...and that she deserves to be happy...I couldnt help you no matter how hard I tried and for that I am so sorry...but I will not fail with my little girl...
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 17:15:29 +0000
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