I once went on a date with a vegan who was disgusted that I eat cheese, because shed never put something as gross as cheese in her body. Then I saw her snort A TON OF COCAINE. Yeah, CHEESE is bad for you... You know when you get those horrible cheese nosebleeds? Or when you stay up all night with people you hate waiting for your cheese dealer? Or when what youre told is pure uncut Gouda is Kraft parm cut with the yellow shit from the bottom of a mac & cheese box that’s been smuggled out of Wisconsin in balloon inside a desperate teen runaway who just wants a better life, but it’s too late for him (hell never be a dancer), and YOU spend the next 8 hours in a feta fueled fever dream watching a dairy cow shakily trot across a stained ceiling. Next thing you know youre working favors around the barn for Velveeta bricks, your pimps holding a switchblade caked in chèvre to your throat, and you wonder why didnt I just do coke?
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 21:13:55 +0000
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