I realise now that is was abuse. He would declare he loved me but didnt speak to me. He would ignore me and play mind games. He would laugh and joke with his family but with me, hed pretend I dont even exist. When I begged him to work with me to fix our relationship, he just left. I couldnt figure out what I did so wrong for him to treat me like this. He would frustrate me so much that I began to harm myself. I humiliated myself and degraded myself in front of him but he wouldnt even batter an eyelid. He spoke about Islam all the time but had no fear of Allah nor accountability. He lead me into depression and I begged him to help me and he so simply replied he cannot. So bluntly and so coldly. He made me think I was going crazy. Made me think there was something wrong with me. Made me think so little of myself, and I couldnt understand at what point I gave him the power to do that to me when I was so strong and independent. Now I know despite my tears, im better off without him. Despite my pain, I am at peace without him. Now I know, I did nothing wrong - he just enjoyed the power. The day I decided to take back that power, was the best decision of my life. I was strong before but now I am stronger. Abuse can be so invisible that even the one that becomes victim to it cannot see it until you start drowning. I sought professional help and I sought spiritual help and now I am in a better place now. Pray for my peace.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 20:23:37 +0000
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