I realize that most of you already think I am a mutant or a weirdo, but, knowing that many of you have medical degrees, are extremely intelligent, Google things really well, or are just REALLY smart because youve been on the earth a REALLY long time, I have to ask a very serious question. Before I do so, however, know two things: 1) If I am not asleep by midnight tonight I will call the doctor in the morning or go to the ER tomorrow. 2) I dont feel BAD. A little fatigued but... Ok, most of my family and friends know that I have epilepsy. It can be a huge pain, but for me, having actual seizures is RARE. I tend to have more absence seizures than full on GMs. Two things that seem to really trigger an episode of either kind are being OVERLY STRESSED or OVERLY TIRED. I took every epilepsy medication in the world, resulting in a huge butt and more frequent seizures with less warning (I get auras). Because of OTHER health issues (I swear, if I was a horse, they would likely shoot me) my doctor and former neurologist support my decision to not take a medication that causes weight gain. I took Topamax for a while. Topamax worked great for about a year and seemed to be a wonder drug - it is used to treat migraines mainly but is being used more and more to control the symptoms of epilepsy. It also has this AMAZING SIDE EFFECT of rapid weight loss. So, I was relatively headache free, relatively thinner, and relatively STILL (lol) for the better part of a year. Then all hell broke loose and I stopped taking it. Instead of normal seizures, I would have one and then become the illigitimate love child of the Incredible Hulk and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. I broke things, tore things up, had awful outbursts, and hurt people I love- mainly their feelings. It wasnt me. I would rather deal with the occasional inconvenience of an episode than be a walking potential spastic jerk. I have symptoms that mimic some of the symptoms of Bipolar disorder due to the brain damage I suffered in my teens. I havent got any chemical issues in the brain, its all due to damage, so normal meds dont help. I take Imiprimine to help with depression and anxiety. Klonopin prn for panic attacks, which also helps control epilepsy symptoms. Ok, all of that said, I have had a whole lot on my mind lately and I guess the stress caused me to have not ONE, but TWO pretty rotten seizures this week. A day apart. After the first one, ALL I COULD DO WAS SLEEP. However, the second one was nearly 4 days ago and since that seizure (Jeremy said it was different than others, I am not sure exactly what he means but...) I have not been able to sleep. I can doze off, but actual sleep, nothing. When I do doze off for a little bit, I have HORRIBLE very realistic nightmares. Periods of crappy sleep seem to last anywhere from 30,45 mins to 60,90 minutes. I know that BRIEF insomnia is common for epileptics but it is not typical for me. I usually crash hard about an hour or so later and it sometimes takes a day or two to get over the pain associated with a GM and I am a little spacy for a day or two following. Every neurologist I have seen says this is normal. The accompanying tinnitus that usually lasts for a few hours afterwards is still here too. Not constant but more on than off. What is currently happening is NOT NORMAL. Not for me anyways. On top of the inability to fall asleep and stay asleep, time seems to be a foreign concept and everything feels kind of dream like. The day in between episode 1 and 2 I was going to get Jeremy from work, drove Rolla street like Ive dome every day hes worked for two months and had a full blown panic attack because - even as I passed Rolla cemetery- I couldnt for the life of me figure out how I ended up on O highway (I wasnt ON O!). I cant say Im worried or scared, just weirded out, physically/mentally EXHAUSTED, and still really sore from the muscle contractions. I am taking all of my regular medications (except for my anxiety meds) and the imiprimine usually knocks me out. Usually, if the pain is super bad after a GM, I take NyQuil because it helps with the pain and puts me to sleep, but not feeling right about any of this, I dont want to add anything that isnt neccesary. I KNOW THIS IS REALLY LONG but I thought maybe if I didnt skip any details maybe someone might know something. Is epilepsy a condition that changes or progresses?? I am between neurologists right now. Please INBOX ME any suggestions, ideas, concerns... If I tagged you its because either youre a medical buddy, a fellow epileptic, or we have had discussions about this in the past- if you were tagged, not tagged, or have some kind of insight, I really want your opinion... Thank you XX
Posted on: Sat, 05 Apr 2014 01:50:03 +0000
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