I remember reading somewhere that if women told the truth the world would be different. I suppose there are many ways of interpreting that statement but what I took from it was this: Ive noticed that women - we are hard on ourselves. Ive seen that mothers are perhaps even more so. We feel we need to be better than who we are, doing a better job at: being a mother, a wife, a partner or whatever it is that is in front of us. We have sometimes been left to compete with one another foolishly - and without blaming men, in part because of men. But what I see as the deepest burden women carry is the inability to say that sometimes its hard - whatever it is for you. I see mothers that feel they should be so grateful to have a child because some women are unable to have them, that they feel they cannot express the challenges of being a mother out of shame or guilt of doing so. So what they do instead is bury it and pretend that everything is wonderful and ok when in fact they need that moral support. Maybe this spans beyond just women - it is a societal urge to always seem fine, ok, happy. There is nothing wrong with happiness as long as it is in balance with the honouring and acceptance that challenge too does exist and that BOTH can exist simultaneously. I have days in motherhood where I feel such joy, ease and gratitude. And I have days where I think, whoa this is a HUGE job one I sometimes want a small break from. And what has helped me to know, is that its OK to feel like that! Its ok to feel utterly blessed by my little girl AND also feel like this is tough work that requires immense patience, attention and care - sometimes so much so that you feel you have little left over for yourself or others. I have also seen the opposite is true; that we cannot truly share our joys without sometimes meeting judgement - that pull to dwell in the drama of life. Again I think this is a reflection of NOT accepting our true state, whatever that state may be. We cannot truly be a happy people unless we are accepting of our experience - ALL of our experience. Why do we feel we need to only show the things that are fantastic, great and wonderful and hide away the challenge, confusion and doubt? Or conversely, why must we get caught up in the drama and brush aside the things that happen with ease and grace? All of these are part of the human experience and I believe the more we can honour that, as neither good nor bad but just as it is, the happier I believe we will be. And by happy I mean, being at peace with...
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:18:11 +0000
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