I remember the get over it sermon that I used to preach. Example: He cheated on you, embarrasses you in public, get over it! You read really hard for that exam and you scored just a mark above average, get over it! You love her so much but she always rubs it in your face, get over it! Your parents split and you dont know why, get over it! Your best friend and your ex hooked up behind you, get over it! You lost one of your parents at a young age, get over it! Im sorry! I really apologise for screaming at you. I screamed! How dare I? It wasnt my fault, I grew up in the society that advises that you dont come to terms with your pains, yet learn from it. I grew up to the elders teaching me that it is a form of weakness to cry. So, I soaked everything in. Never cry over a man, they said. Why waste your time with a woman, there are many fishes in the sea? I have listened to so many speeches on why you should just get over things that I had bought the myth! I even started preaching it. Young ladies came to me to bare their minds and what hurt them most, to vent and talk their minds to sanity but I was ready with my get-over-it sermon and preached it so well, they shut up! However, I always felt heavy still! Why was it that I still felt hurt after I told myself I was over it? Why did my eyes still sting when I thought about it? As much as I confessed that I had forgotten, I remembered so vividly the day it happened. Why was it that I had to pretend not to remember the details when I was counselling when I still remember what time the text came in. The text that stole my breath. I still remember what time it was and what clothe I had on. I know deep within me that I was still stuck! That I needed to let out my pain, many times I felt like crying, sometimes I wanted to talk some more, often times I just wanted to find someone who wanted to listen not necessarily answer! But everyone was a counsellor with the only counsel that says you just bury whatever made you feel numb. Now I am not saying you are liable to the rest of the year in self misery and self pity. This is not a license to low self esteem and or suicide. This is a call to proper healing! Let me paint a scenario: Supposing a person falls and is greatly wounded. The pain is so bad that he has to limp for a while before finding a balance. He gets home and ignores the wound because his mum says big boys dont cry. Day by day, the wound gets more messy and calls for some nursing but still, he ignores it. After a while, it begins to swell and smell and causes his walking to be affected, in his inner sanctum, he feels ashamed about it but outside he covers it with his long trousers. He doesnt even tell his best friend. He keeps on ignoring the wound until it gets infected and needs a greater attention. It is either too late or the wound has destroyed other harm in his body! Why? Because that small scratch could have been healed if he had just tended it. The same can be likened to our hurts. Tend it. Put some disinfectant on it. Leave it open. Air it. Just let it heal. If it stings your eyes, cry! Cry hard. Take deep breaths in the midst of the tears. Let it out. If it burdens your heart, talk. Find someone to help you vent. Keep talking till your mind is free. Its not a sign that youre weak, its a sign that youve been strong for too long! The reason why that lady wears a frown, doesnt dress well, has a low self esteem, gets angry every second is because her wound is starting to eat into other things Theres only one reason why he doesnt respond to greetings and seems to be disconnected from the world, he hasnt tended to his wounds! The sad part about not handling one hurt is that it tends to attract others! You start to pile it up until it manifests in heart attacks, anorexia, hypertension, panic attacks, asthma, unnecessary phobias etc. I have come this evening to preach to you to feel your pain and come to terms with it, only then can you let it go! Keep driving, the grasshopper on your windshield will fly. Not as a result of your scaring it away, but as a result of the force of wind coming from the destination you plan to get to! Cry, talk, sing, write, dance, act...... let it out! Grace be with you! TitOluwa!
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 20:36:17 +0000