I saw a post earlier about TP-ers being out in full force and it brought back a great memory from my high school days. The old Sesser-Valier High School was located in the middle of town and had a row of large trees side-by-side that stretched a full block in front of the school. One night me and a group of other knuckleheads decided we would pull off the greatest TP caper of all time. We bought a dozen 10-roll packages of toilet paper and then waited for darkness. At around 9 p.m. that night we parked a few blocks away and headed to the school. We worked on the trees, some shrubbery out front and one of the more daring wise-acres in the group even climbed on top of the school and ran toilet paper streamers from the top down. Certainly, it was a thing of beauty - it looked like a wall of toilet paper from the road in front of the school. We headed back to our cars -- I was driving one of them -- and I learned very quickly that it is never good to return to the scene of the crime. As we were driving slowly by admiring our work our excitement was cut short by the lights of a police car behind us. I stopped and the officer walked up to the side of the car. Heres the conversation: Officer: Do you know who did this? Me: (Lying through my teeth) No, sir. Officer: Why are you driving by so slow? Me: (Sweating ... and lying more through my teeth) We heard about it and we were just driving by. Officer: And you dont know anything about this? Me: (Thinking about calling my dad from the police station and putting on an Academy Award performance) No ... sir. I really exaggerated the no and the sir. Officer: You boys do me a favor ... if you run across the guys who did this, you tell them I said it was one helluva TP job, the best Ive ever seen. Me: (With exhilaration and relief in my voice) Yes sir ... we will do that. Of course the last comment by the officer was for him to let us know that he knew we did it. And even though we werent very sharp we knew that he knew. After our escape that night from the clutches of the law dogs we drove around that block a dozen times admiring our work, laughing harder every trip.. And I have to agree with the police officer - it was the best-ever TP caper. Thanks for taking a little trek down memory lane with an old guy who many years ago could simultaneously laugh and throw a roll of cheap toilet paper into the tallest trees and then laugh even louder as it drifted to the ground sticking to branches along the way. Great memories!
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 13:19:31 +0000