I shared this with someone who is writing a paper on Turning a Negative into a Positive. How can you see the blessings in your life today? We can assume at some point in our lives something will happen that we do not agree with. Something will happen, and our innermost soul will crave to say, “Why.” Those situations are what define us as a human being. It defines our strength and in many ways our purpose. March 23, 2012 was that day for me. That was the day I found out my precious 21-month-old Patrick had a brain tumor. There was pit in my stomach so big it almost came up. Then as my mommy heart craved to beg for the answer to, “Why my baby?” a wave rushed through me. I had a certainty that there was a bigger reason to why. A reason, an answer, I couldn’t understand in that moment. So, instead of asking “why” I simply asked “who”, “what”, and “how”. Who? What? How? Yes, “Who were we supposed to impact during this journey?” And, “What reactions were we supposed to show during this journey?” Then, there is, “How can we make a difference?” That was just the beginning of turning something horrible, a situation that turns your stomach, an experience that breaks your heart into a situation of healing. During our 115-day journey in the hospital, life was a roller coaster. The only certainty we were given was the fact each day would be uncertain. As human beings we desire a knowledge for answers, to be given facts, to know what to expect. There was none of that. From the moment the MRI results shows a spread of cancer through Patrick’s brain and spine, we were told, “You have a very sick little boy.” It wasn’t denial that racked my brain and my heart. Rather, it was faith that convicted me to stay strong. Patrick made it through his first surgery beautifully. He was amazing! His second surgery went fairly well. But, the shunt they placed in his brain was not working. There is still so much emotion when I think about how he hurt. Many memories of my heart breaking for him and for my other 3 children as our family faced uncertainty. They fixed his shunt and he began chemo. We were constantly told of his fragile state, but all I could see was a pillar of strength as he graciously allowed God to use him. I believe he had conversations with God that we could only dream about. He had a trust that I learned from. As he sweet little eyes tried to watch Mickey Mouse when the doctors said he wouldn’t be able to focus … I saw something bigger than what was in that hospital room. I began to see the who we were going to impact as well as the how. The how was in our reactions, in our strength, in our faith. The how still to this day is how we turned a 115-day battle for our son into a battle for other families and for siblings. Patrick’s body didn’t react well to the chemo. He developed an infection that ate most of his small intestines. We were told he would need 60 cm removed. And, what was left, he couldn’t live off of. They did the surgery, looking to see if there was anything else they could do. A rainbow appeared. A rainbow to us. Only 20 cm were damaged when they went back in. How does it go from 60 to 20. The surgeon’s words, “It just looked better.” Those words still ring strong in my heart. Because that is what we are doing now. Patrick may have gained his heavenly healing 115-days after he was diagnosed, but his memory is still strong today. His impact is as great today as it was when he was still with us. Creating Patrick’s Everyday Warrior we saw a need that had to met. That need was shining a light on Sibling Warriors! On the siblings and the families who fight with the child. During our 115-day journey, we were given many glimpses into other families, into other worlds, into how to communicate better with your medical team, in the need for siblings to matter too! And, that is exactly what we are doing! Each day we are given an opportunity of how we will react. That is the 1 thing we can control in a chaotic world. We all deal with “stuff”. It is how we deal with it that shows who we really are. We began sharing inspiration with people right from our hospital room. Patrick began changing and impacting lives. We saw the benefit of simply seeing the positive in each and every moment. I believe we are given experiences to do something with it. Those experiences are part of who we are, part of our hearts, and part of our purpose. I can find empathy for another mother who is looking at her bald child, crying in pain, yet find a strength to fight. I find that empathy because I was there. I went through that journey. I can’t empathize with a woman who lost her husband in a car accident because I haven’t walked that journey. Finding the love and strength to keep going and having the knowing it is okay to have joy again allows us to help others. That is what I am doing with the creation of Patrick’s Everyday Warriors, a 501c3. We are providing certainty in the midst of chaos while shining a light on warrior siblings (who are often called shadow survivors because they are in the shadows of their sick sibling). We are doing this by providing year round, age-appropriate events for siblings and for families. It is a way to keep the family bond strong through the uncertainty. And, we are providing handbooks on how to communicate with their medical team to best advocate for their child ~ because no one knows a child like their parents. So, yes, I believe we are given experiences to help others and situations so we can choose how we will react. I am choosing to react with love, kindness, strength, and purpose. The only way to live! Patricks Everyday Warriors #awarriorswalkonfire
Posted on: Fri, 18 Oct 2013 12:09:01 +0000
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