I survived....I had boarded my flight at Devonport and taken my assigned seat, which was roughly half way down the length of the plane. As the plane filled up I noted the only vacant seat was beside me. The plane wasnt large, with only two seats each side of a central aisle. Just as I was smiling to myself that I would have room to spread out, the plane suddenly lurched to the left and darkness descended on the cabin.....I looked up in horror, as the second largest woman in the world had boarded the plane and was shuffling down the aisle at a 45 degree body twist, so she could negotiate the aisle without her ample torso tearing the seats from their mountings as she bumped into them. Panic struck me as she took aim at the vacant seat beside me, and in one fluid motion managed to get half of her on the seat and the other half on me. I lost all feeling in my left leg within two minutes. The nice cabin staff arrived with a seat belt extension and, working as a team, managed to secure this woman in place.... As they walked away, one of the cabin staff gave me a sympathetic grin. Once she was tethered in to her seat, and half of mine, the snoring started...and continued throughout the flight. Not even the noise of the two Rolls Royce turbo prop engines at full revs at takeoff drowned out the snoring. Any thought of refreshments for me was abandoned due to the very confined space. I did take heart though, as I figured in the event of a crash, I should survive as I was locked in by an immovable object and was partially surrounded by my own already inflated airbag.... About half way through the flight I felt hot air on the left side of my face, as this ladys head had slumped over and I got the full blast from both nostrils and the intermittent rattle of her lips as surplus air was exhausted. I have no doubt she was a lovely lady, but only after walking it off did the blood circulation and feeling return to my left side after exiting from the plane. As I was limping through the terminal at Melbourne, this lady passed me sitting on the back of a mobile vehicle designed to accommodate the disabled....and she beat me to the escalator. I felt confident in using the escalator, as it had passed its weight test immediately before I hopped on it. So now Im off to get my car and head home....happy in the knowledge that I survived a confined space and height test....
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 04:39:08 +0000
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