I think my problem has always been that I care too much. And people, whether they realize it or not, take advantage of that. Is it fair? Do I deserve it? Obviously Im going to say no. But there are people out there who think I deserve nothing but bad things. And thats fine. Im sorry you feel that way. Im sure your reasoning is legitimate. But as the one who has to live this life, I feel like Ive gone through enough. I feel like I deserve a break. You see me, you see a guy who is always being goofy. What if that isnt who I am? What if thats just a mask I put on to hide the fact that...I have nothing? I have family and I love them. I couldnt imagine life without them. But ask me who my best friend is. Watch the blank stare I give you. Watch how I go through all of my associates or acquaintances...but cant name a best friend. How many people do you know cant tell you who the first person theyd call would be if they needed something?? I think that I long for someone to be that close with so much that I come off too strong for most...and I understand that. But if you had absolutely no one outside of family...youd understand where IM coming from. Maybe I did this too myself. Maybe I deserve to be here posting this status while my ex girlfriend is planning her wedding. Maybe I deserve to be here at 8:30am, lying awake instead of sleeping while everyone is sleeping. Maybe I deserve to not have one person to run to... Am I saying I dont have friends? No, of course not. I do. But not being able to point out a best friend...it sucks. It hurts. Why am I posting this? This is a issue Ive had for years. Just....tonight really got me thinking. And when I think, not going to lie...bad things happen. I realize who are friends..who arent..whos real...whos fake..
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 13:42:03 +0000
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